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Where Have They all Gone

just general meanderings of a loner

more meanderings.
Posted:Sep 22, 2009 5:45 pm
Last Updated:Mar 29, 2024 12:50 am
11489 Views

I miss watching wudsman2. I really liked that man. Very easy for a person to chat with.
I met a guy and was dating him, my fisrt realtionship. I had quite a few contradictory thoughts about this. But deep inside I love this man. I can and will tell him. but only if he decides to take me back. i did some wrong things, and now I pay for it.
BACKGROUND:
We met in a gay bar. he being 5'10 me being 6'3. He liked me because I kept bumping my head into a lamp nervously. We both lived in the same town, turns out has many fo the smae friends.
Over time we beagn to date, not many ups or downs. But one weekend I find out from a friend of his he wants something deeper. He had told me differently. We had a good cry, I started to move in with him but held back.
Story on that: no gay bars here so went to Okla City to Habana. at first he seemed settled but soon when we went he had sex with many different guys. it only bothered me when he met one young one he spent the the whole night with. I came to try my hand at playing. "Doesnt work for me too much guilt"
This summer fincancial strains hit us both He called my distanceing myself from him on the carpet. and I ran. I do believe a bad mistake on my part.
Oh Can have my Pookie back. Can I have my friend Oh lord not having my Pookie is one thing but not haviong my friend will kill me
which way will he go. I ran when he asked, but part of me feels he is happier that I did. Part of me feels that he awaits for me to decide. Really decide. not coming crawling back. but to step up and say i am yours. but only I f ic an have a small place to go to when I am stressed. Smoke my cigars. But need him t say get yopur ass back here now I need you boy.
I miss those blue eyes. i miss those arms that held me when all the love was ours.
but need to be ready to say
did he break me down
did he make me cry
are you ready to pick up the pieces and go on
1 comment
who would have thought
Posted:Aug 6, 2008 9:43 am
Last Updated:Jan 3, 2018 7:29 pm
13067 Views

Ken sat at the corner of the bar sipping a beer, to the slow hum of country music. A John Deere cap covered his brown hair. His mustache and goatee was liberally colored with grey. a twinkle in his ey that hinted a mischevious within. Though solidly built and dressed neatly.There wasnt much to catch a persons eyes. A neatly pressed brown shirt, no fancy label on it. Just a plain work shirt, well worn wranglers and and neatly polished boots.
About 4pm men trickled in. Mostly guys coming in for happy hour and a few hardluck cases looking for a free beer. If they coul lay the bull thick enough or just somebody one for them to shut up. A couple came by and chatted up the new guy just to size him up. Ken may not have been a regular but 60 years had taught him a few things, and for a plain man such as himself. Mystery can be a great asset. A couple of guys who knew him from the feed store sat and visited with him after each bought a round most left to go home to wives who didnt know or care, or to patners just getting home from work. in acouple of hours Ken sat alone once more. Still sipping his beer slowly, patiently waiting for something.
Only people watchers such as myself noticed the change in Ken. a regular came in.(Terry) A loud arrogant,and brash fellow. A slim cowboy, grey haired, and bearded. As he stepped in the door he stopped to let his eyes adjust, tipping his black stetson his bald head shinning with his steel blue eyes. A heavy starched shirt and jeans showing off his trim frame. behind stood a tall young black man just a ball cap on a bald head. Neatly pressed clothes. Now this one looked out of place apprehensive, shy. One would wonder why this would hang with a guy like Terry, But Terry does need somebody who doesn't say much. Just a sidekick. the two fo them made their way around the bar speaking, speaking to friends and aquaintance, with the young black buying the beer for the two of them.
They made their way over to the pool table area. Playing a few games. Until some better players came along. to take the black place. It just happened that the pool tables were in the coner where Ken was perched at the bar. the Young took a seat next to Ken and turned to watch the the games and tv. And eventually. the two struck up a converstion and exchanged names. Both sipping the beers, the kidd seeming to know when his friend wanted a drink and kept him with one. After a rare loss, Terry stepped up the bar put his arm around the shoulder and introduced himslef to Ken. I think the noticed about the same time the change that came over his new aqauintance as I did.the left I assumed to go the bathroom, a slight smile lit his face up.
when he came back his seat had been taken by Terry as he entertained their new friend with some stroy or another. Even got him on the dance floor a couple times. I almost didnt hear the comment, hes too drunk to even realize he is leading ands a real smile came across his face. One that rerally showd a big that may not be just a sidekick, but one who may be a bit of fun himself.
KEN'SSTORY:
The two of them walked inniether really my type, the cowboy too loud and and too much an ass his sidekick too mousy. Watching them play pool, I could see the wasnt in to it , just another sheep following a want to be wolf. Soon the sat down next to me. very quite and reserved. But an open and honest face. the is a bit older than I first thought, you have to be really drunk or self centered to not see his the affection he carried for the old drunken ass, but also the mirth when he made an ass of himself. I fisrt thought them lovers, but soon realized they werent. he was a wiser than he thought himself to be.
It was a nice relief to talk to this . He was curious about me but not nosy. No veiled questions just a curious . that was whne his body made his way over to make claim on the . the look the gave was priceless, even the unconcious shrug that moved his body arm pocessive hold on his shoulder to one more friendly in nature. After introduced himself, he took his buddys seat when the lid came back from the bathroom , He didnt seem to notice.just took a stool on my other side. What he didnt see was his body run his hand up my leg.. Kind of lost puppy look on face he asked me to dance , wasnt surprised, but was when he let me lead. Was a huge smirk on the face when we got back, Terry always thought you would be the lead. HMMMMMMM. Wasn't long after the said well I have to get up early, you ready Terry said no I can get a cab. Better call me tomorrow.
Soon after his friend left, I decided to head home myself. Said my goodbyes was mildly surprised when Terry followed me to my truck. I though Oh well. dont usually pick guys up here but this one is begging. He ws quite for the first couple of mins then, he began to tell more stories. Military days, even a stay in Lousianna with a bar owner.
Knowing I would be in town early I decided to take him to his place. sort of neat for a bachelor, but could use some spiffing up.I used his bathroom, when I came into the living room he was in just his jean, He offerd me a seatg and a beer, he was sipping vodka out of a bottle. I aksed a bout his young buddy, You guys not lovers? Nah he said is a bit slow. I don't think he realises anyone can like him in any sort of way. He thinks his only purpose is to be a sidekick to an assusch as myself.
Old man he said I know you aint here to talk about that dumbass, come over here and suck my dick, he said, as he unzipped he pants. I stood up and stepped over to him. I stood looking down at him. I let a slow smile cross my face, taking a step back I told him to stand he looked askewbutm followed my intsructions
Lead me to your bedroom as he stepped in to his bedroom I swatted his butt propelling him forward on to the bed. I stoppe and unsnapped my shirt sleeves. Come over her "boy" and undress this man I said him. He just looked at me then did it. After my shirt was off He hugged him and kissed his forehead. then demanded why he stopped, He looked ready to fight. I grabbed his nipples, pinching one hard and and the other sofly tweaked he moaned and undid my pants leading me to his bed he sat me down and took my boots off then my jeans. My dick began to stir, filling my briefs. He stood then. I told him to remove just his jeans.
I stood next to him and kissed him gently he matched my kiss, a gentle tug on his lip . His lean body pale next to my dark and hairy, body. He melted in my arms, we fell onto the bed groping and crothes rubbing together. I took his his underwear and yanked them off his body. His eyes grew big, a lokk of fear crosse his eyes then lust took over. He rolled to my underwear getnly taking my dick out he began to give my blowjob, then ever hungrier he took all me in his mouth and his tongue licking my balls. I slowly took his harding dick and stroked and nibbled his head. He was longer but not thicker than mine , that wouldnt matter.As he sucked me I nibbled at his head teasing him. He is damn good but I have other slower ways, I pulled up to me stood him up once again, and swatted his naked butt, one then twice, then a third time. Kissing my way down to his nipples I stroked hischest running my hands throught he hairy chest. Playing with his nipplespinching them and sucking. biting one and softly caressing the other, as he relaxed and his body responded his hands roughly running over mine then softly as he felt more comfortable. He jumped when my hand struck his butt as hard as was needed. His big dick jumping. A big wad of precum flowed from him on to my chest I maoned whith delight as its wetness stuck to me and bit his nipple harder. My owncick was oozing a thick fluid that caused our hairy bodies to slip, slide and stick together. I kissed his nipple softlythne tweaked and caressed the other. He bent and sucked my nipples,His skinny leg wrapped around mine as he he humed my hairy leg, I swatted him again and he he yelped butdidnt let up. Mythick finger now welled lubed I played with the crack of his ass tilll I found his hairy hole. I toyed with it then went back to his chest and balls. I lovinly fondled. each was handled with care.
I let him push me onto his bed where he kissed his way down my body to myu dick. a thick piece of meat, not too long with is flared plum head I was leaking heavily. But Terry just licked dry then swallowed the whole dick. I allowed him to work his body til we were able to suck each other. Ishowed him was sucking dick was about. slowly licking and nibbling then taking 10 inches deep in to my throat I began to hum and vibrate my throat, he bagan to thrash and hum my face. I stopped and began again. all the time my fingers palying witgh his hole. I had some worked up he barely realised my thick fingeres were 2 knucles deep and I began to work and second in him. I sucked him deep and again and worked a second then a third in him. he began to shoot and I let him cum on my chest. I pulled my own dick out of his mouth and let him gasp for air, while I put a condom on and lubed, up As I put my finger back in his ass he jumped. I lay him over the bed and gave a few quick swatts he lay still as I fingered his ass again. Then while he Lay still and quite I eased my big dick into his hole. Slowly and gently whispering words of kindness into his ear.He whimpered in pain as my thickness stretched. I let him rest and get used to me. When his butt began to clwench , he moved I swatted botth cheeks he grunted and bucked , causing the rest of my dick plunge int o him. He ypped but didnt move more.I pulled out all but my head and relubed easing half my lenght into him and let him rest. a minute. this time swatting one cheek then the other , and the first a second and third time.
He was groaning now so I eased up a bit and slowly and gently used his body a nothing rough or hard just a easy slow pace that had him cumming at least twice. I could tell he was getting sore and tired, the alcohol leaving his body. So I picked my pace up, til I had reached a good steady pace a full five mins of me driving into his body before I realsed my own seed. His bed a soiled mess, we stgripped then showered. we took the other bedroom where he lay his head on my chest and was fast asleep
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Meanderings Of an Unhinged Mind
Posted:Oct 26, 2007 6:59 am
Last Updated:Mar 29, 2024 12:50 am
10902 Views

Life is very funny, We really never know whats in store for us. some of us control everything around them in an attempt to not be hurt, some just ride the roller coaster. Me I am more like a leaf in the wind.
Its funny that I have missed several opportunities to meet nice guys. They were looking for a serious relationship, I was upfront in that I wasn't though sex wasn't my main point. Little did I know what was in store for me.In an earlier post talked about befriending a guy at work, just for beers and football. Was really worried that by opening the door what he might think. I did it anyway. Well that didnt work out. BUT
During that time I was out at my favorite hang out visiting friends. When in the door walks,a a vision.What I would call one anyway. Ours Eyes locked and my interest was piqued. I watched him dance, and it seemed that when he came by ours eyes always met for moments. Maybe it was my addled brain but I think he actually searched for me because as visiting with my cadre of friends at different points our eyes would meet
With my selfesteem issues I never imagined this. So after a few more JD's&7s I built my courage for a rejection and went and spoke to him.( Saying If I thought I had a chance in the world I would come on to you).. He just emb raced me gave me a kiss on the cheek and said I am not ready to date again yet.
Why was I caught off guard? what exactly did he mean by that? 2 weeks go by I go out again. And at 9:30 he walks in again and the same dance before. Our eyes meet, they lock, we bump into each other we speak. I tell him I enjoy watching him dance. He asks if I dance I tell I will be learning and he can take me for a spin sometime. His only remark is that he leads. I am fine with that.. Now something totally out of character for me. I put my arm around him and ask may I kiss him he says yes. As our lips meet I feel a jolt in my chest. I take a couple of steps back in shock.I know I have the look of a deer in headlights as I say UHOH! He says something like that also. Was that jolt reral? did he feel it to. what did he mean lets take things slow and get to know each other?My partnered friends Just tell me its puppy love or infatuation.
Well maybe it is. I have never felt anything like it. And so what if I am wrong in in this. At least I now know whats it like to have feelings of this nature. Now I know whats its like to wait to see somebody and long for them. So in the mean time learn to dance, and make sure that I am secure in many ways. just in case its real. If it's not then hey at least I know what it is like and can avoid it. LOL
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