Close Please enter your Username and Password

_DUH_STORYTELLER 39M
141 posts
4/4/2019 11:34 pm

Last Read:
4/4/2019 11:49 pm

FROM A MIDWESTERN wannabe FARMER EMAIL HE SENT ME LAST SUMMER


DEADLY BASIL

For those of you city slickers who are not familiar with basil, it is a green herb with a strong and distinctive smell. If you were to smell it, you would probably associate it with any traditional Italian restaurant.

As the big boss of Iowa's largest cattle and livestock farm in addition to its being the top producer of corn, barley,oat, rye and soy beans in the Midwest, my daily job duties would need five good men to take my place... Jd just owns the farm, the key man to its success!!

So anyway the meal was indeed delicious, although I felt it required more Parmesan cheese, which was available fresh with a grater nearby.
After the meal I did the dishes and then sat at my computer for about twenty minutes, doing nothing of great importance.

As I sat, I felt pressure building inside my intestines, warning me that a great rectal spasm would soon be way.
I dismissed it as , as indeed a few harmless and smell-free farts did pass between my cheeks

But the pressure was only relieved temporarily.
So I proceeded to go upstairs to relieve my bowels of the pressure that was continuing to build.

The trip upstairs was thankfully uneventful, although the pressure was reaching unbearable levels

I entered the upstairs bathroom, leaving the door open in my haste, and threw my rear on the pot to allow the release
The first eruption was quick, noisy, and painful. The feces lacked body and came in a semi-solid state, thus making it difficult to determine exactly how many pieces it all came in.
Immediately after the first one dropped, however, the most amazing thing occurred: a sharp and pungent smell penetrated the room
the smell of basil was so strong that I began to gag

The smell of basil had somehow been perfectly preserved by the digestive operations of my stomach and intestines while, at the same time, magnified a hundredfold.

There was no smell of methane or any of the other foul odors you would normally associate with a crap of this magnitude

There was simply the smell of basil in the room, stronger than any smell you could ever imagine

The smell was so incredible that I was compelled to check the color of the feces even before finishing [
Here was no dulling of the color due to the natural brown of a normal turd -- these turds were as bright and vibrant as the basil leaves themselves
In some freak scientific miracle, the basil managed to act as both a perfect feces dye and perfect fart perfume

An experience I was unfamiliar with and knew to be impossible. And yet, it happened
Ifinished expelling the vile waste from my bowels, doing my best to keep from passing from the pungent basil smell

Fart 2 later don't want to bore anyone. Oh ya that 2

He is dying and soon will be gone forever. So please put up with him for showing a degree of understanding..

I promise never to post another blog so low in value and worth.....Its just a promise I made to myself. thats all!!!!
.



_DUH_STORYTELLER 39M
193 posts
4/4/2019 11:38 pm

are we back?/ Quazzi moto nose!!!!!!


_DUH_STORYTELLER 39M
193 posts
4/4/2019 11:48 pm

and a two


_DUH_STORYTELLER 39M
193 posts
4/4/2019 11:49 pm

and a farm flea


Herts_1973 46M
37 posts
4/5/2019 4:18 am

He is trying to take over this site with his fake profiles he accuses others of being fakes and banning them! I think Judge Fairley needs to assess this case!


Herts_1973 46M
37 posts
4/5/2019 4:19 am

hate_Fakes is one


Herts_1973 46M
37 posts
4/5/2019 4:19 am

Then his Texan Twinks


Herts_1973 46M
37 posts
4/5/2019 4:20 am

Plus his 10 or so Loyal followers like Julie 3 Boobs


_MeryMenGoodGuys 36M
54 posts
4/5/2019 9:48 pm

HIS LIFE IF YOU WANT TO CALL IT THAT,IS RELEGATED TO THIS LITTLE SPACE PUTER SCREEN HE SITS IN FROM OF FOR SOME 13 YEARS NOW.

HIS AGE NEVER CHANGES, HIS JD HAS NO FACE OR NAME OR ENTRIES!

ONLY ON HALLOWEEEN CAN HE LEAVE HIS HOUSE WITHOUT WEARING A FULL MASK TO HIDE THE HORRORS OF 139 FAICAL STITCHES.

YES HIS LIFE IS A CHILDS DREAMWORLD OF MAKE BELIEVE. ITS ALL HE HAS TO LIVE FOR THESE SAD EMPTY MEANINGLESS DAZE!!!!


Forest__Hump 55M
250 posts
4/6/2019 4:39 pm

gut dat wright..


Herts_1973 46M
37 posts
4/9/2019 9:38 pm

    Quoting _MeryMenGoodGuys:
    HIS LIFE IF YOU WANT TO CALL IT THAT,IS RELEGATED TO THIS LITTLE SPACE PUTER SCREEN HE SITS IN FROM OF FOR SOME 13 YEARS NOW.

    HIS AGE NEVER CHANGES, HIS JD HAS NO FACE OR NAME OR ENTRIES!

    ONLY ON HALLOWEEEN CAN HE LEAVE HIS HOUSE WITHOUT WEARING A FULL MASK TO HIDE THE HORRORS OF 139 FAICAL STITCHES.

    YES HIS LIFE IS A CHILDS DREAMWORLD OF MAKE BELIEVE. ITS ALL HE HAS TO LIVE FOR THESE SAD EMPTY MEANINGLESS DAZE!!!!
Like Frankenstein?


Herts_1973 46M
37 posts
4/9/2019 9:38 pm

Welcome back forest


Herts_1973 46M
37 posts
4/9/2019 9:40 pm

Them farm fleas make you itch


Herts_1973 46M
37 posts
4/9/2019 9:41 pm

Good to have you all back duh