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Julie_Tgirl 74T
1617 posts
7/19/2018 2:11 pm

Last Read:
1/2/2019 9:08 am

Formative years

IF THIS IS NOT A SUBJECT OF INTEREST TO YOU THEN PLEASE DON’T READ IT! PLEASE KEEP YOUR NEGATIVE COMMENTS TO YOURSELF. IF YOU ARE A NICE AND OPEN MINDED PERSON THAT LIKES THIS SUBJECT MATTER OR SEES NOTHING WRONG WITH IT, THEN PLEASE CONTINUE AND READ
It was mostly just mom and me the whole time. My parents divorced when I was very young. I still saw my dad often but he was not around when I needed him to help and teach me. These years were very important in my upbringing and kind of set a standard for myself for the years to come.
Mom worked days when I was in my teens and so far being in female dominated households I was developing female feelings of my own and things from farther back in the past also came into play and I think the wrong hormones took over. It wasn’t testosterone that took over like it should in most boys but instead it must have been estrogen that was controlling my thinking. I was a good athlete in high school in football and baseball but there were times that I would have rather been doing one of the girl’s sports instead. I really did want to be on the girl’s tennis team instead of baseball. They looked so cute in their skimpy little outfits and I wanted to be wearing one. I was also a good tennis player and could‘ve been an asset to the team. During football being on starting defense I would have rather been a cheerleader and not a male cheerleader either but a girl, and there was also the girl’s volleyball team, which I was also good at. I would have been good on the girls softball team.
Before high school when I was 12, I was starting to get strong feminine feelings and I was caught between being a boy or a girl. Mom worked days and during the school year I was at home a few hours by myself. In the summer when school was out I spent days alone if I wasn’t playing baseball. Mom had week days off and worked weekends so that gave me more time alone.
This was when the feminine feelings would come on the strongest. Mom ordered sales catalogs from ‘Frederick’s of Hollywood’, which was then the same as is now Victoria’s Secret. She left them lying out on the coffee table. I started looking at these and it fed my feminine side. Some of the drawings of the models were sexier than the photographs. I wanted to be like them.
This would be the first that I would be dressed as a girl since my much younger days with my babysitter. I prowled through mom’s closet to see what kind of clothing I could find that she did not use anymore. There seemed to be quite a bit that mom had in her closet that she did not use; dresses, skirts, blouses and tops and also some baby doll nighties. My thinking at this time was that I had all this time to myself that I could do as I pleased. So why not try on some of these clothes. But If I was going to try on dresses why not have on undergarments to fit the occasion.
Prowling through her drawers I saw some of the same underthings that I saw in the Frederick’s catalogs. Bras, panties (bikini and full cut granny panties), panty girdles made of elastane, garter belts and used stockings and she even had the foam rubber falsies to put inside a bra cup. To me this was like a treasure trove. I was getting very excited looking through her things. I never thought of my own mom as sexy but she sure had some sexy things. I do know she had some sexy female card dealer friends that she worked with in a Reno casino. She did have boyfriends on occasion and sometimes dated.
Back in those days a woman’s appearance and sexiness did play a big role if she was hired in a casino as a card dealer or especially cocktail waitress. But my mom had pretty much a mundane life maybe because she had me. She went to work at a certain time and came home pretty regularly and she managed to get on day shift so that she would be at work when I was in school or in the summer months I would be at home during the day. But even if she had been working swing shift I probably would have changed my schedule of being a girl to the night time.
More prowling in her closet I did find a blond pageboy cut wig on a Styrofoam head. I never saw her wear this wig and it looked like it had not been worn for awhile. I brushed it out and it did not smell like it had been worn so I kind of claimed it as mine and it was a good find for me. She had other things that I also claimed a mine. Mom had a metal allergy and she had to have expensive earrings. They had to be a certain amount of gold or silver or else they gave her problems. She could not afford the expensive earrings so she did have a good section of clip on. This was another great find for me! I would wear the dangling earrings.
Mom kept her makeup on the bathroom counter top but underneath in the cabinet she had a shoe box full of old makeup that she did not use anymore. That was claimed as mine also. I had been trying on some things that I found in mom’s closet and at that age we were about the same size and everything I tried on fit well. Also under the sink in the cabinet, she had 3 douche bags in boxes that were stacked on top of each other. I figured that the one in the top box was the one she used most but at that time. I had not thought about douching at that time but knew that it was a feminine thing to do. At that time period many women did douche.
The day came right after mom left to go to work that I decided was the day I was going to become a girl. I knew I had about 9 hours until she got home so I had plenty of time. First I took a good shower cuz I did not want to leave any smells on what I was wearing. I put on a bra and put falsies inside the cups so I would have titties and full cut panties and started with my makeup. I had seen makeup done many times before by mom and her roommates and had a pretty good idea of what to do. I did feel feminine standing there in the bra and panties, now my panties cuz I laid claim to them also. My first time with doing my own makeup did need some improvement. After that I pulled a sneaky and would stand at the bathroom door and talk to mom as she was doing her makeup in the morning and I could see her face in the large mirror. She never thought anything of it and did not realize that I was standing there to take lessons and just thought it was mother and conversation. Over time I did greatly improve and by the time I moved out from mom’s my makeup was perfect and I was an expert.
On that day I also put on a garter belt and hose and stepped into a pair of heels. I did have to learn how to walk in the shoes but that only took a short while. I saw how garter belts were attached in the Fredericks catalogs. I had a dress picked out and pulled it over my head and it was a back zip but I was nimble and agile enough to reach behind me to zip it up. I spent many trips to the full length mirror that day looking at myself as a girl. I even sat to pee.
I did this very same thing the next day and the day after and this happened every day except for mom’s days off. This went on for years but when I was 13 I started douching and using tampons just because they were feminine things to do.
So many times I wanted to stay as a girl until mom got home so I could have a talk with her about me being a girl and her but I did not know how she would take it. Thinking back on it though, mom and I were close as mother and and she might have been open to the idea. She was a single mom trying to raise a boy and her being female just maybe she would have been open to the idea of having me as a to make her life easier. I always chickened out and changed back to a boy by the time she got home. Sometimes I wish I had the chance to do it over again. If she would have agreed she could have became a ‘Dommy Mommy’ and started training me to be a girl. She could have been very strict on me as mothers are with their daughters when they are training them to be a woman.
I let a lot of things go by during those years like not having that talk with mom. I could have asked her to put me on female hormones and that would have started shaping my body at an earlier age. I could have developed as a female and got the female pubic bone, which is the pelvis and had wider hips now.
I did have sexual desires for boys during my high school years and wanted a boyfriend to give my virginity to. I knew about sex and that boys and girls, also men and women fucked. I heard that it felt good to a girl/woman when she was fucked by a boy/man and I wanted to experience that. I knew that it would have to be in my ass cuz I didn’t have a vagina. I had thought about some of boys at school to have a secret conversation with and discuss us being BF and GF. Yes I wanted to be a ‘girlfriend’, somehow I felt good about with having that distinction. It would be secret, I would still be the masculine boy at school but a girl when we were away from school and it was just him and I together. I imagined him coming over to my house a couple of days a week when mom was at work. Saturdays and Sundays during the school year would have been perfect with mom having to work. Whomever my BF would have been we could have spent the better part of the day together with me as a girl and maybe have fucked a couple of times. I did want a BF that would come over to fuck me.
I was afraid to talk to any boys about a secret BF/GF relationship. I did not want to be outed back in those days. I did have a fantasy though of mom accepting me as her and was training me to be a girl and starting me at a new high school as a girl. But of course that never happened.

1st pic getting caught by mom while looking in the mirror.
2nd pic magazine for moms raising sons as daughters
3rd and 4th pics getting caught by mom doing makeup and dressing
5th pic remembering my years wearing moms clothes






malibueric69 70M
23 posts
7/27/2018 8:03 am

Thank you girl friend, reminds me of my younger days, though I did have brothers to hide from. I do remember the first time and I still get goose bumps remembering that time. It's funny now but I don't think I ever got sexually excited when I first started dressing.
Hugs, Erika


Julie_Tgirl replies on 8/16/2018 6:17 pm:
Wow Erika I did reply to you once but doing it off the respond button does not work anymore.

Julie_Tgirl replies on 8/16/2018 6:18 pm:
I'll be damn, it worked that time!

OnDaFence 36M/44M

7/21/2018 5:42 am

as promised.......... the Change occured... ON_DEFENSE is GONE


Julie_Tgirl replies on 7/21/2018 11:33 am:
Great! but we still have several others to deal with that from all indications that are one in the same. Maybe he will cool down and back off. What's his obsession with trying to be number one on a gay blog site?

jmac56 67M
51 posts
7/20/2018 3:40 pm

great story!! Loved it!


Julie_Tgirl replies on 7/20/2018 8:56 pm:
The best part of the story is true and factual but that was just a shortened version.

bjhogan 66M
1950 posts
7/20/2018 1:55 pm

i just lovvvvvvvvvve your BLOGS !!! as i HAVE GONE THRU & STILL GOING THRU several of the STAGES !! you have expressed !


Julie_Tgirl replies on 7/20/2018 8:55 pm:
Keep it going!

Julie_Tgirl 74T
3021 posts
7/19/2018 2:14 pm

four


ztruHtihStaE 36M

7/19/2018 2:13 pm

KEEP POSTING old buddy... things are going to change in here real soon.


Julie_Tgirl replies on 7/19/2018 6:03 pm:
Thanks for responding and the comment

Julie_Tgirl 74T
3021 posts
7/19/2018 2:13 pm

three


Julie_Tgirl 74T
3021 posts
7/19/2018 2:13 pm

two


Julie_Tgirl 74T
3021 posts
7/19/2018 2:12 pm

one