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I Was Arm Candy At The GayVN Awards
by Eric Engine
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 | | The men of Trannywood Pictures are ready for their close-up. |
I was able to sneak in the doors of the tenth annual GayVN Awards, held in San Francisco for the second year in a row, not just as a member of the press, but as the arm-candy of one of the nominees in the “Best Alternative Release” category. Trannywood Pictures’ Cubbyholes was up for a shot at the trophy, and the fledgling gay FtM porn company had bought an entire table’s worth of tickets for its staff and stars.
Who wouldn’t take an opportunity like this to be front and center (well, actually, stage right) at awards night? A chance to ogle the crème de la crème of the gay porn industry. To rub elbows with them at the bar, to take paparazzi shots as they walked down the red carpet. And, if not some handsome man’s phone number and hotel room, then perhaps a business card or three? | | The red carpet. |
Rumors were rife before the doors opened. Why was this show, the tenth annual, being held at the Gift Center, an unknown trade show venue South of Market, instead of at the Castro Theater, as it was last year? Why wasn’t last year’s host, Kathy Griffin, invited back? In fact, Griffin was hosting a show at the Castro after all – for the bears of the International Bear Rendezvous, also held that weekend. Rumor had it that she was angry not to have been invited back – possibly for budget reasons (which would also explain the venue change). Instead of Ms. D-List herself, the hosts were raunchy drag queen Lady Bunny, and Derek and Romaine of Sirius Radio. A bit of a come-down, for sure.
Rumors were flying, too, about the awards nomination process. The categories were numerous and disorganized, and some said that the entire list was the work of one editor working alone. And then, of course, there were the inevitable complaints about high ticket prices and lack of an open bar – a deadly combination for the punters.
 | | Marlo Davis flags dildo lover left. |
Well, I wasn’t a punter. I was a date. Marlo Davis made his porn debut in Cubbyholes. For those of you who are wondering, Mr. Davis is not trans himself, and he likes all kinds of men -- as long as they're not prettier than he is. He faced some competition, it must be said, on this particular night. I tried to let only my eyes wander. You know, unless they cruised us both.
The best part of the evening was the pre-show schmoozing. There was a token ten-foot red carpet walk, but few people seemed to take it seriously. Instead, they stood in the lobby of the Gift Center and gossiped, then drifted past the bar to gossip some more. The eye candy was all that was promised and more. Glitter and glam. As my date put it, "The GayVNs prove that vanity is not the exclusive domain of heterosexual women." If you’ve ever wanted to meet a porn star in person without an autograph table between you, this is the place to be.
 | | Table full o' schwag. |
The Gift Center itself may have been unknown and unsung, but the banquet tables and glass elevators gave the venue a classy feel. Each table was loaded with schwag from various sponsors, from cock rings and lube to bottles of wine.
The category of Best Alternative Release was one of the first to be announced, and, alas, Cubbyholes was not the winner. Neither was Buck Angel’s Buckback Mountain>, the other FtM (or, as Buck prefers, “guy with a pussy”) production nominated. Instead, the award went to the DVD version of Naked Boys Singing.
Soon thereafter came the most controversial moment of the show proper: when the winner of “Best Bisexual Release” was announced. The presenters stumbled over the winning title, saying both “The Bi Apple” and “Bi Accident.” Nobody came on stage to accept the award, the presenters did not clarify, and everyone muddled onto the next category. (The GayVN official press release identifies “Bi Accident” as the official winner.) “Bi Apple” director Audacia Ray was sitting with the Trannywood crew when the award was announced, and she was as confused as the rest of the crowd.
The best speech of the night belonged to Joe Shepard. When he won "Best Nonsexual Performance" for his role in The Intern, he waved his trophy in the air and asked, "do any of you even care about this award at all?" The answer: a large cheer for being a good sport.
Awards shows always drag a little (no pun intended). At one point, the attendees decided to liven it up a little by staging impromptu photo shoots in the large glass elevators that could be seen just to the right of the stage. Impromptu frisky photo shoots, that is. Lady Bunny joked that Falcon Exclusive Eric Rhodes was getting busy in the front row as well, but as far as we know, that was just a joke. We think. Even if it wasn’t, it was fun to admire the never-ending procession of trophy boys, clad only in their undies.
 | | Strike a pose. |
The crowd was certainly buff, well-tanned, and, despite the bar tab, well-lubricated. But one thing that might surprise civilians – the porn stars on parade were also uniformly relaxed, friendly, and personable. They stopped for photos and autographs, they joked with each other as well as friends and passers-by, they complimented each other’s outfits (and mine too)!, and were generally attitude-free. The GayVNs may be the best place to mingle with the stars as if you were one of them. Dress fabulous, take in the eye candy, and who knows how the evening might end? There was no official after-party this year, so just maybe, many a night ended back at the hotel...behind closed doors. (As for me, I never kiss and tell.)
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