My Philosophy
|
Posted:Mar 17, 2016 7:12 am
Last Updated:Mar 18, 2016 12:46 pm 42784 Views
|
Ban shredded cheese.
Make America grate again.
|
|
1
comment
|
|
Was I Wrong?
|
Posted:Mar 14, 2016 8:28 am
Last Updated:Mar 15, 2016 4:38 am 40487 Views
|
I was sitting in on a high school math class the other day and was probably daydreaming a little.
The teacher noticed this and immediately asked me, "Quick, what is 2 and 4 and 28 and 47?"
I said, "NBC, FOX, A&E and Cartoon Network."
|
|
2
Comments
|
|
Holiday
|
Posted:Mar 11, 2016 3:26 am
Last Updated:Mar 14, 2016 8:28 am 41413 Views
|
Tomorrow is national Slap an Irritating Co-Worker day.
Get ready to beat the shit out of some asshole with complete impunity.
Have fun.
|
|
4
Comments
|
|
Do The Math
|
Posted:Mar 6, 2016 8:54 am
Last Updated:Mar 9, 2016 3:31 am 45596 Views
|
Trump Airlines..........................Failure
Trump Tower Tampa...............Failure
Trump University......................Failure
Trump Mortgage and Loan.......Failure
Trump Steaks...........................Failure
Trump Vodka............................Failure
Trump Network..........................Failure
Trump Shuttle............................Failure
Trump the Game.......................Failure
Trump Magazine.......................Failure
Trump Ice..................................Failure
Tour de Trump..........................Failure
GotTrump.com..........................Failure
New Jersey Generals................Failure
Trump Entertainment Resorts...Failure
Plus Four Bankruptcies
And a quote from Donald Trump: "I hate losers."
|
|
4
Comments
|
|
New Congressional Budget
|
Posted:Mar 3, 2016 10:45 am
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2016 4:24 am 46430 Views
|
The new Congressional budget will be determined by things we can afford and things we can't afford. Right now the lists look like this:
THINGS WE CAN'T AFFORD
Healthcare, Infrastructure, Public Transport, Education, Renewable Energy, Clean Environment, Feeding the Poor, Public Elections
THINGS WE CAN AFFORD
Iraq and Iran Wars....$ 4 to 6 Trillion Wall Street Bailouts...$12.5 Trillion Big Oil Subsidies.......$37.5 Billion per year F35 Program..............$1.5 Trillion
If you have anything to add to either list, contact your state representatives.
|
|
4
Comments
|
|
A Quote About Donald Trump
|
Posted:Mar 2, 2016 10:47 am
Last Updated:Mar 3, 2016 3:24 am 47714 Views
|
"You might not care if Donald Trump says, 'Muslims must register with the government' because you're not one. You might not care if Donald Trump says he's going to 'round up all the Hispanic immigrants' because you're not one. And you might not care if Donald Trump says it's okay to rough up black protesters because you're not one. And you might not care that Donald Trump wants to suppress journalists because you're not one.
But think about this. If he keeps going and actually becomes president he might get around to you, and you better hope there's someone left to help you."
Air Force Col. Tom Moe (Ret) A prisoner of war in Viet Nam
|
|
4
Comments
|
|
The Haircut
|
Posted:Mar 1, 2016 9:36 am
Last Updated:Mar 2, 2016 10:47 am 45977 Views
|
One day a florist walked into his barber shop for a haircut. When the barber was finished, the florist went to pay, but the barber said, "I can not accept your money. I'm doing community service."
The florist went away very happy.
The next day when he went to open his shop, the barber found a dozen roses and a card that said, "Thank you."
A while later a policeman came in for a haircut. When the barber was finished, the policeman went to pay, but the barber said, "I can not accept your money. I'm doing community service."
The policeman went away very happy.
The next day when the barber went to open his shop, he found a dozen doughnuts with a note that said, "Thank You."
A little later a Congressman came in for a haircut. When the barber was finished, the Congressman went to pay, but the barber said, "I can not accept your money. I'm doing community service."
The Congressman went away very happy.
The next day when the barber went to open his shop, he found a dozen Congressmen waiting in line.
|
|
2
Comments
|
|
I'd Have Said the Same Thing
|
Posted:Feb 27, 2016 7:42 am
Last Updated:Feb 28, 2016 4:57 am 47106 Views
|
An Irishman was in an accident with a truck owned by a huge conglomerate. At the trial to determine how much compensation he's receive, he was cross-examined by the company's lawyer.
"When police asked how you were, didn't you say you were fine?"
"Well, I was just takin' me cow Bessie to town when..."
"I don't care about your cow. Just answer the question."
"I was approaching this intersection and Bessie was in the back of the truck..."
"Your Honor, will you please tell this man to cease all the unimportant things and answer the question?"
The judge said, "I'm interested in hearing this man's story. Continue, Paddy."
"Well, as I was saying, I was driving along with Bessie in the rear when this huge company truck runs a stop sign and plows into me. Bessie gets thrown out and is tossed across the road. I'm hurt and dazed and I crawl out of my truck. I see a policeman walk up to Bessie who is moaning and mooing in pain. He takes out his gun and shoots her in the head. Then he comes up to me and asks how I am.
"What the fuck did you expect me to say?"
|
|
1
comment
|
|
The Sheepdog
|
Posted:Feb 8, 2016 8:48 am
Last Updated:Jul 5, 2016 10:48 am 50361 Views
|
A farmer had a talking sheepdog.
One day the farmer said, "My sheep are roaming all over. I want you to gather them all together in one place."
The sheepdog said," Okay," and went about getting all the sheep into one pen.
Then the farmer said, "Did you get them all? I hope you counted them."
The sheepdog said, "Yep. There are 40."
"Forty?" the farmer said. "I only have 38 sheep."
The sheepdog said, "I rounded them up."
|
|
2
Comments
|
|
French Art
|
Posted:Feb 6, 2016 4:18 am
Last Updated:Feb 7, 2016 3:38 am 48985 Views
|
Even with gas prices fairly low, keeping my vehicle in fuel is like French art.
I have no Monet. So I can not buy Degas. Because of that I can't make my VanGogh. I hope you don't think my language is Toulusse, but without gas I can't make Latrech to the grocery store.
|
|
1
comment
|
|