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Whatever crazy thoughts come into my mind

The Joys of Teaching Part 5
Posted:May 1, 2017 4:14 am
Last Updated:May 2, 2017 4:55 am
7324 Views

The students in a Catholic school were lining up for lunch in the cafeteria. As they went down the line, they noticed a sign attached to a bowl full of apples.

The sign read, "Take only one. God is watching."

A little farther down the line was a plate of cookies for dessert. Next to this plate was a sign written in a student's scrawl.

This sign read, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."
9 Comments
The Joys of Teaching Part 4
Posted:Apr 21, 2017 6:07 am
Last Updated:May 1, 2017 4:15 am
13215 Views

A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulatory system and wanted to give her pupils an idea of how it worked.

"If I stand on my head," she said, "the blood will rush to it and my face will become red, all because of gravity."

The students nodded.

"Why then, " the teacher asked, "don't my feet turn red when I'm standing up?'

One little boy piped up, "Because your feet ain't empty."
6 Comments
The Joys of Teaching Part 3
Posted:Apr 19, 2017 1:39 pm
Last Updated:Apr 20, 2017 3:45 am
14567 Views

The students had all been photographed and the teacher was trying to get each of them to purchase a group picture.

"Just think," she said, "in fifty years you can look at this picture and say 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer' or 'There's Tommy, he's a doctor' or 'There's Mary, she's the mayor'."

A voice from the back of the room said, "Or there's teacher, she's dead."
7 Comments
The Joys of Teaching Part 2
Posted:Apr 9, 2017 4:07 am
Last Updated:Apr 10, 2017 3:33 am
23009 Views

A Sunday school teacher was giving a lesson on the Ten Commandments and told her class about "Honor thy father and thy mother."

"Now," she asked, "is there a commandment about your brothers and sisters?"

From the back of the room a voice called out, "Yes. Thou shalt not kill."
5 Comments
The Joys of Teaching Part 1
Posted:Apr 6, 2017 6:25 am
Last Updated:Apr 9, 2017 4:07 am
26599 Views

A teacher was explaining to her class why a whale couldn't swallow a person, even though it was huge, because it has a very small throat.

One little girl said, "But Jonah was swallowed by a whale."

The teacher repeated that it was impossible for that to happen because the whale had too small a throat.

The little girl said, "When I get to heaven, I'm going to ask Jonah."

The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"

Without missing a beat the little girl said, "Then you ask him."
8 Comments
Okay, So Let's See Now
Posted:Mar 20, 2017 4:12 pm
Last Updated:Apr 4, 2017 6:27 am
31537 Views

At the Congressional hearings today the director of the FBI and the director of the NSA both testified that there is absolutely NO evidence that former president Obama had Trump tower wiretapped.

So why doesn't the president take these men at their word?

According to one senator, there are two possibilities:

1) The president knows he's wrong but refuses to admit it. (big surprise)

or

2) The president really can't tell the difference between the truth that is supported by facts and what he wants to be the truth in his little delusional world.

Prediction: The president will go to war against the FBI and the NSA because they refuse to bow to his rantings and ramblings like good little toadies are supposed to.
13 Comments
Wiretap claim hurts president's credibility
Posted:Mar 19, 2017 11:12 am
Last Updated:Mar 20, 2017 4:18 pm
29593 Views

The following is an editorial from today's Syracuse Post Standard. It sums up one of the problems I have with our current liar-in-chief.

It's time for President Donald Trump to put up or shut up. Either supply evidence that former President Barack Obama wiretapped Trump Tower during the campaign, or retract the claim and move on. The longer this farce drags out, the more Trump damages his credibility and demeans the office of the president of the United States.

Long before he was elected, Trump had a casual relationship with facts and a reluctance to admit error. (Exhibit A: the demonstrably false claim that Obama was not born in the United States. It took five years for Trump to retract it.) Winning the White House didn't change him. On Day Two of his presidency, Trump fumed about photos comparing the crowds at his inauguration to Obama's -- even though everyone could discern reality with their own eyes.

That was only the first inkling of the cloud of "alternative facts" emanating from the Trump White House, on matters great (i.e. the wiretapping business) and small (i.e. who actually wrote Trump's inaugural speech).

A White House statement made in all seriousness one day is written off as a joke the next. Laugh all you want about Kellyanne Conway's spying microwave; what the administration's shape-shifting rhetoric is doing to political discourse, and confidence in the executive office, is desperately unfunny.

It is not possible to have a rational debate about the policies being implemented by the new administration when you can't trust half of what is says. It is not possible for our allies and adversaries to conduct diplomacy when the words coming out of the administration change meaning from one day to the next.

Most worrisome is what might happen in a real crisis -- a terrorist incident, say, or a North Korean missile strike. Would the public believe the president? Would the world?

Trump and his staff are standing by the wiretapping claims, in the face of denials by Obama, members of the intelligence community and strong skepticism from both parties in Congress. FBI Director James Comey is scheduled to testify Monday in a public session of the House Intelligence Committee. He will be forced to address Trump's claims directly. That should put an end to all this tail-chasing.

The stated purpose of Comey's appearance is to discuss the FBI's investigation into allegations of Russian interference in the presidential election. It might be worse for Trump if it turns out the wiretaps of which he speaks were listening in on foreign actors talking to the Trump campaign. After all, it was routine surveillance of Russia's ambassador to the United States that led to the firing of National Security Advisor Michael Flynn for prematurely discussing sanctions.

If the president is right, we'll admit our error. If he's proved wrong, will he?
9 Comments
Healthcare Fantasyland
Posted:Mar 17, 2017 4:38 pm
Last Updated:Mar 20, 2017 4:17 pm
30416 Views

I apologize for the length of this blog, but I thought it was important for everyone (especially those who swallow, hook line and sinker, everything our conman-in-chief says) to see. The following is a column written by E.J.Dionne Jr. that appeared in my local newspaper today.

We shouldn't blithely move on to other matters until we deal with the institutional carnage inflicted upon us by Donald Trump.

The current president of the United States has accused former president Barack Obama of committing a felony by having him wiretapped. But Trump refuses to offer a shred of evidence for perhaps the most incendiary charge one president has ever leveled against another. Trump recklessly set off a mighty explosion and his spokespeople duck and dodge, hoping we'll pretend nothing happened.

If our republic had a responsible Congress, its leaders would accept their duty to demand that a president who shakes his country and the world with such an outlandish allegation either put up proof or apologize.

Unfortunately, we have no such Congress.

Sen. John McCain, R-Ariz., modeled what House Speaker Paul Ryan and Senate Majority Leader Mitch Mc Connell could say. The American people, McCain declared on Monday, "have a right to know on what basis the president of the United States said that his predecessor had broken the law."

Honestly: Is it so hard for Ryan and McConnell at least to whisper something like this?

Instead, Republican leaders think it is time for business as usual, which in their case means figuring out how to deprive low-income people of health insurance while cutting taxes on the rich and increasing the deficit.

This is what their replacement of Obamacare would do. Democrats have quickly labeled the bill "Trumpcare," and why not? Trump described it as "wonderful." What's interesting about this is the proposal fails (forgive me) bigly in living up to the joyous health care future Trump envisioned.

"Everybody's got to be covered," the Magician of Mar-del-Lago said on "60 Minutes" in September 2015. "I am going to take care of everybody. I don't care if it costs me votes or not. Everybody's going to be taken care of much better than they're taken care of now."

Trump's health care vows are as credible as his assertions against Obama and as reliable as the guarantees he made to students at Trump University. They sued him over how fake his claims were, and he had to settle.

No one should act as if Trump didn't warn us about his negotiable relationship with the truth. He laid it out in his 1987 best-seller, "The Art of the Deal." Trump wrote: "I play to people's fantasies...People want to believe something is the biggest and the greatest and the most spectacular." He spoke of "truthful hyperbole" -- an oxymoron for the ages -- which he defined as "an innocent form of exaggeration."

But exaggeration is not innocent when it means depriving the old, the sick and the poor of health insurance. If there is one beautiful thing about the health care proposal House Republicans released this week, it is that it exposes how much untruthful hyperbole Republicans engaged in about Obamacare and what they would replace it with.

Republicans are badly split over this bill because, like Trump, GOP leaders could never keep the promises they made. The ultra-conservatives have denounced the spending it authorizes. Well, yes, even inadequate efforts to subsidize health insurance cost a lot of money.

You know the Republicans are in trouble because Ryan said that all the mysteries would be resolved if citizens would only "read the bill." So I did, and my experience confirmed that Ryan's invitation was a typical example of Beltway nonsense. The speaker knows that gems such as language calling for amending "subsection (d)(1), by striking 'to which' and inserting 'to which, subject to section 1903A(a)," are incomprehensible to anyone but lawyers, policy experts and crack legislative drafters. Reading this thing doesn't make it better.

It is sad, to paraphrase the Tweeter in Chief himself, that Washington is now a city of avoidance, denial and deception. Whether he's talking about policy or his political adversaries, Trump is simply not believable. And his friends in Congress are proving themselves no more trustworthy. Welcome to Fantasyland.
13 Comments
So Now The Numbers Are Right
Posted:Mar 11, 2017 10:38 am
Last Updated:Mar 17, 2017 1:38 pm
31395 Views

A while back, before the red-headed asshole was elected, figures came out showing the unemployment rate to have dropped to 4.9 percent.

Our illustrious leader said he didn't believe them. He suspected the real numbers were more like 30 or 35 or even 40 percent.

Now the latest figures came out stating the unemployment rate is 4.6 percent and all of a sudden the figures are right. Wow! The "fake news" press actually got something correct.

If we assume shithead's 30 percent unemployment figure was right, then the fact that 200,000 new jobs were filled last month means those 200,000 people represent a 24.4 percent drop in unemployment.

According to my math, that means there were a total of about 787,400 people employed in order for that to happen. Gee, I thought there were more working people than that.

Maybe that 4.9 percent figure was right after all, huh?

Once again our asshole-in-chief would like us to forget his previous remarks and just remember his current one, but some of us have good memories and won't be fooled by his outrageous comments.
12 Comments
The Compassionate Lawyer
Posted:Mar 10, 2017 8:01 am
Last Updated:Mar 11, 2017 10:44 am
31711 Views

A lawyer was out for a stroll when he came upon a man and woman in a field eating the scrub grass that grew there.

"What's your problem?" he asked.

The man replied, "I lost my job, we were evicted from our house, we have no money, and now we've been reduced to eating grass."

"That's terrible," the lawyer said. "You have to come to my house."

"That's very kind of you," the woman said, "but besides my husband and me, there are our four children to consider."

"I don't care," the lawyer said. "I can't have you people eating scrub grass. Follow me to my house."

"How can we ever thank you?" the husband asked.

Don't worry." the lawyer said. "You'll be doing me a favor. The grass in my yard is eight inches high."

Come on...you didn't really think there was such a thing as a compassionate lawyer, did you?
8 Comments

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