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DUH PERFECT FOREPLAY BEFORE ANAL
Posted:Apr 6, 2017 2:56 pm
Last Updated:Apr 6, 2017 3:12 pm
5776 Views
Two hillbillies walk into a restaurant. While having a bite to eat, they talk about their moonshine operation.

Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table, who is eating a sandwich, begins to cough.

After a minute or so, it becomes apparent that she is in
real distress.

One of the hillbillies looks at her and says,
'Kin ya swallar?'

The woman shakes her head no.

Then he asks, 'Kin ya breathe?'

The woman begins to turn blue and shakes her head no.

The hillbilly walks over to the woman, lifts up her dress, yanks down her drawers and quickly gives her right butt cheek a lick with his tongue!.

The woman is so shocked that she has a violent spasm and the obstruction flies out of her mouth.

As she begins to breathe again, the Hillbilly walks slowly back to his table.

His partner says, 'Ya know, I'd heerd of that there 'Hind Lick
Maneuver' but I ain't niver seed nobody do it!'

7 Comments
HIS WIFE WAS A REAL NAGGING BITCH........see the solution...
Posted:Apr 9, 2016 5:36 pm
Last Updated:Apr 9, 2016 6:15 pm
16467 Views
> After
> 35 years of marriage, a
> husband and wife came for counseling. When
> asked what the
> problem was, the wife went into a tirade listing
> every problem
> they
> had
> ever had in the years they
> had been married.
> On and on and on:
> neglect,
> lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness, feeling
> unloved and
> unlovable, an entire laundry list of unmet needs
> she had endured.
>
> Finally,
> after allowing this
> for a sufficient length of time, the therapist got
> up, walked around
> the desk and after asking the wife to stand, he
> embraced and
> kissed
> her long and
> passionately as
> her husband watched - with a raised eyebrow.
> The woman shut up
> and quietly sat down in a daze.
> The therapist turned
> to the
> husband and said, "This is what your wife
> needs at least 3 times a
> week. Can you do this?"
>
> "Well,
> I can drop her off here
> on Mondays and Wednesdays, but I fish on
> Fridays.”
>
>
12 Comments
HIGH SCHOOL BACK IN 1959 VERSES TODAY IN 2016
Posted:Feb 27, 2016 9:04 pm
Last Updated:Mar 13, 2016 9:19 am
27725 Views


You have to laugh at this or you would cry at our stupidity!!!
HOW THINGS HAVE CHANGED !!

HIGH SCHOOL -- 1957 vs. 2016 TODAY
Scenario 1:

Jack goes quail hunting before school and then pulls into the school parking lot with his shotgun in his truck's gun rack.

1957 - Vice Principal comes over, looks at Jack's shotgun, goes to his car and gets his shotgun to show Jack.


2016 TODAY - School goes into lockdown, FBI called, Jack hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors called in for traumatized students and teachers.

Scenario 2:

Johnny and Mark get into a fist fight after school.

1957 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins.. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up buddies.


2016 TODAY - Police called and SWAT team arrives -- they arrest both Johnny and Mark. They are both charged with assault and both expelled even though Johnny started it.

Scenario 3:

Jeffrey will not sit still in class, he disrupts other students.

1957 - Jeffrey sent to the Principal's office and given a good paddling by the Principal. He then returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class again.

2016 TODAY - Jeffrey is given huge doses of Ritalin. He becomes a zombie. He is then tested for ADD. The school gets extra money from the state because Jeffrey has a disability.

Scenario 4:

Billy breaks a window in his neighbor's car and his Dad gives him a whipping with his belt..


1957 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college and becomes a successful businessman.

2016 TODAY - Billy's dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy is removed to foster care and joins a gang. The state psychologist is told by Billy's sister that she remembers being abused herself and their dad goes to prison. Billy's mom has an affair with the psychologist.

Scenario 5:


Mark gets a headache and takes some aspirin to school.

1957 - Mark shares his aspirin with the Principal out on the smoking dock.


2016 TODAY - The police are called and Mark is expelled from school for drug violations. His car is then searched for drugs and weapons.

Scenario 6:

Pedro fails high school English.

1957 - Pedro goes to summer school, passes English and goes to college.



2016 TODAY - Pedro's cause is taken up by state. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that teaching English as a requirement for graduation is racist. ACLU files class action lawsuit against the state school system and Pedro's English teacher.. English is then banned from core curriculum. Pedro is given his diploma anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he cannot speak English.

Scenario 7:

Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from the Fourth of July, puts them in a model airplane paint bottle and blows up a red ant bed.

1957 - Ants die.


2016 TODAY - ATF, Homeland Security and the FBI are all called. Johnny is charged with domestic terrorism. The FBI investigates his parents -- and all siblings are removed from their home and all computers are confiscated.
Johnny's dad is placed on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again.

Scenario 8:

Wally falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee. He is found crying by his teacher, Nancy. Nancy hugs him to comfort him.


1957 - In a short time, Wally feels better and goes on playing.

2016 TODAY - Nancy is accused of being a predator and loses her job. She faces 3 years in State Prison... Wally undergoes 5 years of therapy.

This should hit every email inbox to show how stupid we have become!!

WE HAVE OUR UNITED STATES SUPREME COURT TO BLAME FOR EVERY BIT OF THIS. TAKE PARENTING SKILLS AND DISCIPLINE AWAY AS WELL AS FAMILY STRUCTURE.

BAN RELIGION AND THE TEN COMMANDMENTS WHICH ALL TRANSLATE TO CRIMINAL BEHAVIOR WHEN BROKEN.

LET SHRINKS AND STUFFY EDUCATED OLD FARTS MAKE THE RULES AND INFORCE RIDICUOUS RULES THAT ONLY
GREATLY HARMAND HINDER OUR CHILDREN AS WELL AS SOCIETY.
8 Comments
DIS IS WUT I TINK
Posted:Dec 26, 2015 12:08 pm
Last Updated:Dec 27, 2015 8:54 am
25396 Views
ones ever won iz dead,,,,,,,,,,,pricetags will be worth less..

if all homeless shelters ever become empty, den ISIS one.

farts is the sharpest things in duh world cause dey can go true two pairs ah pants wiff out makin a whole in dem.

how cum kids don't play cowboys and African americans instead of instead ah cowboy and enative americans?

I guts a headace sew will sits down four now..

tank you..


NOW MEAT MI FRIENDS.....................................








4 Comments
I NEEDS MAP QUEST BADLEE.. CAN SOMEONE OUT DARE HELP ME PLEASE.??
Posted:Aug 20, 2015 8:33 am
Last Updated:Aug 20, 2015 2:44 pm
26943 Views
every tyme I try to use a travel map, I foolishly turns it upside down wen eye reads it and all weighs ends up going dew south weah sum hard core El Passo Border Guards arrestez me .

I cant drink the Jail water an getz Dehyraided so dey putz me in duh back of a long black flatbed truck and sneaks me back outs into the texas dessert until dahe next time..

anyone got any BOTTOMS UP MAPS dey can git to me 4 free??









1 comment
ALL MY EX WIFES OR MOTHERS IN LAW..
Posted:Jan 6, 2015 12:23 pm
Last Updated:Apr 28, 2017 12:3 pm
41037 Views
only one town clerk out of nine did not laugh when we signed the intentions book............................







6 Comments
CHATROOM HISTORY REVISITED WITH MANY MEMORIES
Posted:Jan 4, 2015 2:59 pm
Last Updated:Apr 28, 2017 12:3 pm
38590 Views
There are many Chat Room regulars reading these blogs today that arrived after some wonderful interesting times ended.

So a quick walk down memory lane to REVISIT THE HISTORIC PAST..








3 Comments
SELFISH BLOGGER HAS 11 POST AT ONCE. TAKE A LOOK BELOW
Posted:Dec 7, 2014 2:34 am
Last Updated:Dec 7, 2014 10:18 am
38381 Views
SCREW EVERY ONE ELSE IN HERE. LET ME BUMP THEIR BLOGS RIGHT OFF THE BOARD AS MINE ARE MORE IMPORTANT THIS CLOWN THINKS.

SCROLL BELOW TO GUESS WHO THE GREEDY CULPURT IS?

IN FACT IT SEEMS OF LATE, THAT FIVE OF THESE GUYS DAILY NOW POST THREE OR MORE BLOGS PER DAY LETTING EVERYONE ELSE GET ERASED..

SCREW CURTIOUSY AND FELLOW MAN..... AND TO MAKE MATTERS WORSE. SO MANY THEY POST ARE DELUTED AND SHALLOW WITH LITTLE REDEEMING MERRIT OR VALUE TO THEM.

HEY THERE MR POST MAN.........HOW ABOUT POSTING ALL 20 blog SPOTS AVAILABLE SO YOUR THE ONLY ONE IN HERE AT ONE TIME..

unreal...............what some will do for meaningless rating positions,

what a farce.................but everyone knows all this anyway as this has been ongoing for a few weeks now..

ps.........this is my second blog post in two years in here.... and done early morning so others would not get bumped from the board..
0 Comments

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