| And You Thought the New Yorker Cover was Shocking! |
Jul 18, 2008 4:12 pm
Mood: bouncy, 278 Views |  | BRET in his NASTY ways took this photo of me and ran to the press with it. As you can see, he had me in a compromising position.
But I can confirm to you that it was NOT Senator Craig in the booth next to me. The senator was busy with BRET while he was in a nearby booth. |
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16 Comments | |
| Teterboro-Saratoga Springs-Teterboro |
Jul 16, 2008 12:38 pm
378 Views |  | The third time was the charm.
For two weeks we had tried to fly in a Piper Warrior III from a nearby airport in New Jersey (Teterboro) to the world renowned spa and historical town of Saratoga Springs, New York.
On the first two tries, we had to cancel because of the weather. Our pilot, a gorgeous 23 year old Lieutenant in the U.S. Air Force was only VFR rated (visual flight rules). And the first time the weather in the entire northeast was crap. The second time the weather up in Saratoga was forecast as nasty in the afternoon.
This past Sunday, the weather was CAVU as they say. Ceiling and visibility unlimited. So when we made our way to Teterboro airport, we were pretty confident that things would go our way this time. Teterboro is a few miles due west of Manhattan and is one of the busiest airports for private and corporate traffic in the country.
Our pilot Travis, (why is everyone called Travis now? lol) is the owner of this brand new Piper 4-seater. He is a logistics officer in the Air Force, not a rated pilot. He had gotten his private pilot's license through a flying club that is associated with a base where he had been stationed.
The two other passengers were Alex and his girlfriend Sandy. Alex is the kid I've written about several times here. His dad passed away suddenly last Autumn. Since then my dad along with Alex's uncle played a key role in getting his Ford LTD pimped into a fantastic low-rider.
Travis had filed the flight plan and I went around with him to see how a pilot does a pre-flight check on an aircraft.Alex and his girlfriend jumped up on the wing to get in the back seat and I was the lucky one to get to ride up front. Actually I was lucky that all Alex wanted to do was sit all cozy with his girlfriend.
As we buckled into the leather seats, Travis started the engine and all the cockpit lights and digital displays came to life. I was given a quick run down on what the major instruments were. Seemed pretty straight forward to me. I was also allowed to wear headphones so I could monitor the radio calls to and from the tower etc.
We finally taxied our way toward the end of the runway. But we were in a line with other small aircraft and a few private jets. It reminded me of the same long march to the runway when one flies on an airliner only our view was a ton better. And the sound of the private jets whizzing by on take-off is a lot louder. Even though the headphones.
We had permission for immediate take-off once we reached the end of the runway. Travis put the Lycoming engine on full throttle and released the brake and off we went. And although a Piper is considerably slower than a Boeing, it doesn't seem that way when sitting only two feet off the runway surface. In fact, combined with the sound of the engine going balls-to-the-wall, it felt like we were hauling ass down that runway. As we began the climb, my eye was on the panoramic view and the shadow on the ground of our own plane.
Travis is a competent pilot and exudes confidence when he flies. It was a good feeling for us to see that everything he did was routine, old hat.
Once we reached altitude and heading, Travis asked me if I was ready. In the weeks leading up to this flight, I had asked over and over again if I could be allowed to take the wheel once we were aloft. And although I was not about to do any maneuvers (just fly straight and level) I did have butterflies in my stomach.
At first, the instrument called the "artificial horizon" showed that I was climbing then over compensating and then diving. Gently of course. But after about a minute or so, I was able to keep the plane level and on course. I flew the plane for about ten minutes, all the time thinking how pissed my dad would be after I tell him I want a pilot's license. lol
It seemed that we were near Saratoga Springs in no time. The view of the Adirondacks not far to the west was magnificent. Travis pointed out the airport from miles away. It looked like a postage stamp from that distance.
but we landed smoothly and quickly "parked" the plane and got out.
I could write a whole blog on how beautiful Saratoga Springs is. But to make things short, we took a cab into town and went to lunch. WE looked around the town for a bit and headed back to the airport. Someday I'll come back and see the Revolutionary War battle site here.
The flight back was just as much fun as the way up was. I asked Alex and Sandy if they wanted to take the seat next to the pilot. Mercifully they declined. It seemed that within minutes we could make out the entire path of the Hudson river all the way to it's mouth anchored by the island of Manhattan. Stunning.
And although Travis had to do some maneuvering to get into position to land (because of air traffic) we landed routinely and our great adventure was complete.
So now, as I said, I'm all hot and bothered about getting a private pilot's license. Even though I've only had my auto license for a few months and I'm in the middle of a four year college program.
This is a total blast.
And Oh, I did NOT join the "mile high club" lol But I wish I did. Travis is FINE. |
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17 Comments | |
| Puck the Magic Jaguar |
Jul 14, 2008 2:33 pm
500 Views | Our compadre Bret scared the bejeebers out of us on more than one occasion. This is the story of what happened to the car Bret and JD called Puck.
And in case you're wondering, it's from Peter, Paul and Mary's, Puff the Magic Dragon.
Puck the magic Jaguar,
Was made across the sea
And raced about the roads and ways of Franklin County
Little Bretti Higgins,
Loved that Puck so much.
And bought him fuzzy dice and things he thought were a nice touch.
Puck the magic Jaguar,
Was made across the sea
And raced around the roads and ways of Franklin County
Together they would travel,
Passing crops and stock
And bretti always kept an eye out for some farm boy cock.
Local queens and trannies,
Would sigh when they drove by
Knowing cock rings, toys and lube were not in short supply
Puck the magic Jaguar,
Was made across the sea
And raced around the roads and ways of Franklin county
Little boys live long lives
But not so big ol' Puck
He landed in a ditch one day,
While swerving from a truck
Still little Bret was happy,
He had so much luck
The one toy he'd been sitting on,
Was not at all far stuck | |
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14 Comments | |
| Stove Top Fire |
Jul 13, 2008 6:36 am
673 Views |  | Not long ago, Bret went through an ordeal that he JD and the rest of us will not soon forget. At least we won't let him forget.
Seems Bret was frying chicken while he was camming on OP. So one can say his thighs on the stove-top and desk-top were all aflame.
And though this did cause a stir (and hearty laugh) in the OP chat room, we were most importantly thankful that nothing more serious happened.
The following song was/is a mega-hit by Johnny Cash called Ring of Fire. If you're not familiar with it, listen to it on-line if you can. It's a classic from the Man in Black.
Food is a loving thing
It's makes, a man's heart sing
Bound by wild desire
'Til you put the flame on higher
CHORUS:
My fried bird was a burning mass of fire
I Turned the gas down, but the flames went higher
>And it burned, burned, burned
That chicken fire
That kitchen pyre
My fried bird was a burning mass of fire
I turned the gas down, but the flames went higher
>And it burned, burned, burned
That chicken fire
That kitchen pyre
Our love is strong as iron
Endures fire engine's sirens
Tenderly, JD said to me
Next time order KFC
My fried bird was a burning mass of fire
I turned the gas down, but the flames went higher
>And it burned, burned, burned
That chicken fire
That kitchen pyre
And it burned, burned, burned
That chicken fire
That kitchen pyre |
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19 Comments | |
| Breterial Girl |
Jul 11, 2008 5:19 pm
728 Views |  | I get winks and I get emails
I think that's O.K.
But when the guys start naked camming
I just blog away
They can jerk and they can shake
But they can't see the light, that's right
I just go and write a blog
On how my ass is tight. 'cause we are
Chorus:
>Living in a Breterial world and I am the Breterial girl
You know that I am blogging in a Breterial world
And I am the Breterial girl
I get invites to guys networks
That's all right with me
But once I find out they are bottoms
I just let them be
Some queens try and some queens lie but
I don't let them play
Only top men who are hung will
Make my rainy day, cause they are
>Living in Breterial world and I am the
Breterial girl
You know that I am boffing in a Breterial world
And I am the Breterial girl
Hot-n-Steamy with JD
Is my blog site you see
I get to blog on how Soho pees
From his balcony, cause everybody's
A Breterial, a Breterial girl
Living in a Breterial world, living in a Breterial world |
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12 Comments | |
| Learn English, You're Golden |
Jul 11, 2008 7:34 am
817 Views | With the recent uproar created by the great Messiah, (otherwise known as Senator Obama D-Ill) over his "embarrassment" that Americans can't speak a second language, I was also struck by his smug comment that we shouldn't worry about latinos learning English.
While pandering is typical in politics, I find it especially annoying coming from the man who paints himself as a new brand of politician.
BULLSHIT!
First off I it's obscene and bizarre when the man who is vying for position of ruling over 300 million Americans finds it necessary to ridicule and belittle the people who are supposed to elect him.
Saying, "alls we know how to say is, mersee bo-coo", while imitating heavy American accented French. He said this after lauding Europeans for their ability to speak several languages.
Do you think maybe Obama should run for president of Andorra?
Of course it's a fact that Americans stink at foreign languages. And although it's praiseworthy for Americans to learn a second language and may give some people a career advantage, Americans have done fine just speaking English thank you.
The reason we don't do well in foreign languages is two-fold. First is geography. If you drive 1000 miles in any direction from Omaha, you still won't need a Berlitz travel guide. Whereas in Europe, you may have to speak 4 languages within a few hours drive of your location.
And the second reason is the fact that English is the international language. It is the dominant language in tourism, business and aviation. Americans and any english speakers, can travel the globe and do quite well by just speaking English.
Senator Obama exposes himself to be the Ivy League elitist that he is. And all he has done is fall into the standard liberal mindset that one hears in the coffee houses of Manhattan.
The other damaging side of Obama's recent Sermon on the Mount is his brushing off the problem of foreigners who can't speak English when living here. Everyone knows that not being able to speak English is condemning one's self to long term poverty. If you can't speak the language all you can do is basic manual labor.
Our building had an interesting example of the problem the other day. We're getting new windows from one company and the cast-iron facade is being partially replaced/restored by another. The window crew spoke only spanish and the facade crew spoke mainly hindi. So the window crew starts installing the Windows only to find out the they should have waited for the restoration crew to do their thing. Both crew bosses had tried with sign language but the window crew wound up having to take out the windows again.
There was a ton of Puerto Rican cursing going on. LOL
And in case your wondering, I love Latinos and their culture. I even have that in my profile. I also love the melting-pot that is New York. It's a major part of what makes this city great.
I also speak a second language fluently. Sometimes to the chagrin of my buds in the chat room. I can actually get around in a few languages so I'm no xenophobic crack pot. lol
Anyway, the key to success in this great country is to learn to speak English and assimilation.
Thank you for your attention. | |
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18 Comments | |
| The Ballad of Bretti Crocker |
Jul 10, 2008 4:57 pm
827 Views | 
Born on a hilltop in Io-we
The state that brought us the fried Twinkie
Stillt not on milk but brown gravy
Kilt him a cow when he was only three
Bretti, Bretti Crocker, queen of the wild frontier
He learnt how to bake and to braise and brew
Made the best quiche you could ever chew
Served up a meat loaf out of tofu
And when it came to gai pan he was Mister Moo Goo
Bretti, Bretti Crocker, holdin us young'uns dear
Eastward he drove to New York City
Seeing all the sights like Miss Liberty
It ended all one day in a great tragedy
Shooting down the Waiter who was serving him brie
Bretti, Bretti Crocker, the man who don't know fear | |
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15 Comments | |
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| An Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Balcony to Hang Your Weenie |
Jul 7, 2008 12:33 pm
1094 Views | There has been some reporting here at MyPieHole on recent events most prominently Bret's visit to the Big Apple during the high water crisis that befell his community.
And every member of Home Grown Twinks and reader of Linebackrr05 has gotten a dose of rumors and propaganda about my "balcony" here in SoHo.
So I have written the following ditty in honor of Bret's visit and to clear any inaccuracies about said balcony.
THIS tune should be familiar the EVERYONE. LOL I think.
He was afraid to come out in the open
He was as nervous as he could be
He was afraid to come out in the open
Although his bladder was full of pee-pee
(two, three, four, Tell the guys a little more)
It was an itsy bitsy teenie weenie balcony to hang your weenie
That Bret saw for the first time today
An itsy bitsy teenie weenie balcony to hang your weenie
So in the pantry he wanted to stay
(two, three, four, stick around you'll hear the score)
He was afraid to uncover his winkie
So a blanket around him he wore
Never ceasing to ask us the question
Where the fuck was the bathroom door?
(two, three, four, tell the Bretsie where to pour)
Off my itsy bitsy teenie weenie balcony to hang your weenie
With those joggers below you can't miss
An itsy bitsy teenie weenie balcony to hang you weenie
And in the end that's where Bretsie would piss | |
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15 Comments | |
| The Iowa Waltz |
Jul 5, 2008 2:05 pm
1218 Views |  | The following was done in Bret's linebackrr05 voice and is sung to the tune of The Tennessee Waltz:
I was chattin', with my darlins' in the Home Grown Twinks chat room when my cell phone just happened to bleat.
'Twas my loved one, sittin' naked in the hot tub out yonder and his momma too close to his feet.
I remember the night that I told my friend SoHo what I'd so irresponsibly tossed.
Yes I threw JDs swim trunks on the roof of the hay barn the night my virgin'ty was lost.
She came dancin' through the darkness with oven warm brownies, her son's favorite childhood treat.
As she walked up, two knees flew up, cause the crystal-clear wetness hid nothing from gazes too deep.
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16 Comments | |
| To link to this blog (SoHoKev) use [blog SoHoKev] in your messages. |
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