| ha ha I am not dead |
Jun 19, 2007 3:03 am
1468 Views |  | Well the surgery went as expected, it went very smoothly. I got fucked up on the stuff they gave me, and I slept throughout the entire thing. As for the rest of that day, well the anesthesia hit my ass hard, and I ended up sleeping the entire day. But other than that, I ended up perfectly fine. I am off to enjoy myself for yet another week as I do not have to work again until the 25th. That nerve in my neck that I was scared of the doctor hitting never got touched, and I can still lift my left arm above my shoulder and do all that other fun stuff. But yeah sorry to all of those that I have pissed off because I am not dead... |
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6 Comments | |
| shittin some brix |
Jun 11, 2007 1:52 am
1512 Views |  | I am going in at 10:15 today for my surgery. Too tired to go into detail, other than to say that I am a little nervous, but at the same time excited. I just want to get this thing over with so I can enjoy my week off of work, hahaha. I know I am bad. Well wish me luck, even though EVERYTHING is going to go SMOOTHLY, still wish me luck because I am a little nervous. So yeah Pusstoolio, as I originally named it, is getting removed later on today. Oh yeah I have to say this, if any of you have ever seen the movie Total Recall then you'll get this. My friend named the cyst Kuato, after that guy in Total Recall, you know the guy who came out f the other guy's stomach. So tomorrow, after the surgery, I am going to say, in a faint voice, "Quaid, Quaid, start the reactor..." Just thought I should share... I dunno, I gotta go now and take another shit because I am nervous, let you all know how it goes tomorrow...
Late |
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5 Comments | |
| EXPULSION |
Jun 6, 2007 2:28 am
1466 Views |  | All I can say at the moment is that after this surgery Monday, I am going to take my life with more value. I am going to try and stop fucking myself up so much, it is starting to take it's toll on my physical health. This thing, this bulging cyst, on my neck is a symptom of what kind of energy I have been bringing in and pulling out of this world. It is a dark chi, a build up of stress, envy, jealousy, and wrath. If I don't change my life and where I am taking it, then I fear that I may turn into something I don't like. I don't like being angry all the time. After this surgery Monday I am going to really rethink my life, and figure out what needs salvaged and what needs to be scrapped. |
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2 Comments | |
| Back In The Flesh |
May 30, 2007 3:05 am
1449 Views |  | After a long mental vacation, I feel as though I am one person again, something to be reckoned with in a lot of ways.
I am working on some new ground with my music. I have been writing stuff off and working with people I know a little bit more. The results are pretty cool.
There is this one song that I was working on. It consisted mostly of sound loops and pre-recorded stuff. It was pretty techno, but dark, not fruity... My friend Nate came over to jam that same day. He brought His guitar, His amp, His recorder, His foot pedals, etc. So we plugged Him in and He went off playing shit that I haven't even heard some professional guitarists play.
After talking about music and whatnot, I asked Him if wanted to play along, sort of improvise, to the little song I had. This spawned an even crunchier, darker perspective on the track, resulting in it sounding like one of the songs off of the first Resident Evil movie soundtrack. It became an Industrial hit in my book and quickly went online. We both liked what we did, and it took a minute to construct the guitar parts together, because the sound recorder I had at the time could only record one minute of sound at a time. So he had to stop, and then resume where He left off a couple of times, but everything was put together in syncipation.
The song was titled Expulsion, because Nate was telling me about how he got kicked out of my former High School for possessing eighteen grams of pot on him. So since He was expelled, we decided to call it Expulsion, because it has that feel anyway.
...If you want to know what site the song is one figure out this antigram,so if you really want to hear it as well as some of my other shit then figure out the arrangement of these letters...
MSCAEYPCMO
once you figure out the site, go to search and type in the word UKBEK, there you will see... |
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1 comment | |
| the scoop |
May 24, 2007 4:01 am
1587 Views |  | ok
first off this statement is aimed at certain individuals who have either messaged me or commented my blogs, giving me nothing but shit. I have recieved many great comments and messages as well as some good advice from most of you out there, and thank you for listening. But I must go off and say this to the other fuckers who do nothing but talk shit. Funny thing is that most of them are older than shit, and yet they're still playing high school shit talking games...
I am irritated
Why?
Because...
I am so fucking sick of people assuming that I am fucking burn out. Every time I write something on this site, someone comments about my so called drug abuse and my alcohol habits, or they comment on how I am just some dumb kid. Well first off fuckers, if you don't like my life and the shit I decide to babble about on this site then fucking don't read it. Why are you boring yourself by inflicting this on you? Are you a masochist? Fuck you...
I don't do hard drugs... Not regularly anyway. I mean I have done one or two in my entire life maybe a few times, but that is it. And on the contrary I have never done Meth, despite the accusations I received from a message I got from another member of this site. So don't judge me as this hard drug addicted ass hole, I mean sure I am an ass hole, but I am not a drug addict. There is a HUGE difference between a drug ADDICT and a drug USER, and I am too fucking tired to spell it out for your dumb ass right now.
And as far as me being too young to understand how things work, well fuck you buddy... Just because someone is older doesn't mean they're wiser. Humans are like dogs in so many ways that I am not going to rant about it other than to say that one of the same traits that we have in common with our canine companions is that you can't teach an old human new tricks either... Sure adolescent puppies like myself are hard to teach, but we still are willing to listen at some points while we grow up. It is not until you reach an older age where your ego sets in and you believe that because you made it to forty you are the fucking guru of planet Earth!
I have seen them old
I have seen them young
and we are all dumb
no one knows whit...
Why?
Because there is always someone who knows more than us
There's a fucking lesson!
Anyways
Usually an older person will insist they are right, and never admit they are wrong, even if they are. They would rather be ignorant and "Right", than be "wrong" and taught something new. You can't teach older people a fucking thing. Just like their adolescent offspring, they too need to learn everything the hard way...
Which reminds me, before I leave, I must say that as homosexuals society has in the past, and still does, to a certain degree, label us as "deviant" and "immoral". I mean if you go with what the Right Wing says about us, then we are a very depraved race of people. So if "depraved" is what I am going to be labeled by society anyways because of my sexual nature, then I might as well as really make it worth their wild in calling me such things by getting fucked up and having fun. I mean shit... For all of you who think you are better than me because you are clean and sober and richer, I laugh because society still doesn't like you, despite how hard you try to fucking fit in! I at least know what is expected of me, so I do whatever I want, and you know what? I am happy, I have money for things I want, people I love around me, a network of friends, co-workers, and connections, as well as a great family complete with pets. I am NOT alone. I am NOT a fuck up. I am NOT a piece of shit. I may be labeled so by society, but I am not. So don't hate on your fellow homosexual because I chose to get high once in awhile, instead hate yourselves for trying to be something you're not... |
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| Pastoolio, I hardly knew ya... |
May 17, 2007 4:55 am
1178 Views |  | One of my favorite cartoons of my high school years was a cartoon called "Invader Zim". It was about a little green alien who was tricked by his alien leaders into traveling to Earth, in a quest to conquer the planet. The whole premise for the show is that He is really stupid and, accompanied by His robot GRR, who is twice as stupid, the two try ad take over the planet.
In one of my favorite episodes, Zim gets a big fat zit on the side of His face. As it swells up into a bubble, Zim begins to fear that the rest of the world would find out He is an alien. So as He goes to school he has this giant, puss filled zit on the side of his face, almost as big as his green alien head. As he passes, kids on the playground begin to get hypnotized every time they gaze upon it.
After finding out this information out, Zim decides to draw a face, albeit a creepy looking one with a mustache and a widow's peak hairline. Attaching a small little outfit to it, He made a simease zit twin, complete with puppet hands for you to hold. He named it Pastoolio, and slowly, one by one all the kids grew mezmorized by it, acting upon Pastoolio's hypnotic will.
I have my own Pastoolio attached to the left side of my neck, towards the back. It is a cist that I have had for about four years now, and it just recently decided to grow into a big ball of puss. It looks like an alien trying to burst out of the side of my neck, or a like a golf ball is wedged in it or something. It is really gross. The best part is if I hold my head slightly tilted it looks as though my neck is broken and the bone is poking through. So in honor of my favorite cartoon, and my favorite episode, I have decided to name this horrific blemish Pastoolio. I figure since He is getting removed tomorrow, I might as well as give the fucker props for sticking to me for sooo long.
So wish me luck with that, and remember if you are good I will let you hold Pastoolio's little hand... Don't youo just love these little rants that are as pointless as much as they are disgusting? |
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2 Comments | |
| [untitled] |
May 8, 2007 5:07 am
1302 Views |  | Ever have one of those days where you feel like your head is going to explode? Well today was kind of like that, only in a constructive way. I feel proud and fulfilled with the time that I wasted.
It started out when I woke up extra early for my lazy ass (12:30), which is a decent hour for me to rise as I work all night. The zombie that was I got ready and went to the Dentist, yay! There I underwent only the most brutal torture any sadist could concoct, a cleaning and Floride treatment! It was fun I guess, if you like having your teeth picked at and scraped with a jagged hook. Though the Hygenist was a nice lady, and did a good job cleaning my choppy smile, she kept filling my mouth up with water and sticking that damned sucked in my throat almost causing me to gag a few times. The toothpaste was icky, minty, but icky, and I fucking hate that damned sucker that kept sucking my tongue!
The thing I hate the most about the dentist is those gloves. I hate the smell of latex gloves, because they have that sterile scent that accomidates the latex smell. I hate how they look for some reason and when I see someone like a doctor or a mad scientist wear them I get queasy.
But other than that my experience was good. I mean it was just a cleaning. But the real fun is going to be next Tuesday when I get my cavity filled. That I HATE. But even that I am not dreading because it is just a fucking hole, a stupid hole in a stupid tooth. If I let my fear of getting a stupid hole in my stupid tooth plugged up run my life, then I might as well as call myself a pussy. Might as well as just sit back and let Him drill. Besides I will be listening to some tunes while He has to smell my stinky pot breath.... |
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2 Comments | |
| FED UP |
May 3, 2007 12:55 am
1655 Views |  | I am tired of all of this shit... Fuck the world!
Fuck my job! Fuck the promotions I never get! Fuck my boss! Fuck my fellow employees! Fuck politicians! Fuck cops! Fuck cars! Fuck licenses! Fuck dealer!!! Fuck what they sell! Fuck self checkout! Fuck customers! Fuck stupid people! Fuck smart people! Fuck snuff films! Fuck alcohol! Fuck Weed! Fuck being gay! Fuck being straight! Fuck friends that don't call back! Fuck friends that do! fuck punctuatioon andd spellliing! Fuck the word fuck! Fuck your mom! Fuck your sister! Fuck your grandma! and most of all Fuck the entire fucking world and everything stupid fuck in it!!!! |
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12 Comments | |
| New Low |
Apr 30, 2007 2:53 am
1288 Views |  | This last weekend was great. I mean it was a whirlwind of chaos, but it was still great. On Friday my friend J and His friend R showed up to my house for an afternoon get together. My friend J is a vocalist in a band I am in, well it is more His vision and His band but I am a part of it nonetheless. Anyways R, J's good friend, is a guitarist, albeit a good one, and He had came to help us construct a new song that J had written lyrics too and recorder vocals for. So while we did all this, we were also drinking margaritas, resulting in us, mostly me and J, drinking the entire bottle of Jose Silver. After the song was done, and the booze was gone, we had taken six hours working in my craped bedroom/studio, and what do you think our pretty tipsy asses did to celebrate? Yes you guessed it! We went out and drank at the bar. By then R had to go home and my buddy C had taken his place, and the new trio was on their way to downtown.
In C's car, I rode shotgun, while J road back, and in the car on the freeway we were blasting White Zombie's 1995 LP "Astro Creep 2000", and we were all just singing our asses off. I screamed so hard that my throat was sore. J kept rubbing my head, and I kept screaming in C's ear, and we were all just being stupid and juvenile again. It was like last Summer all over again, we were even returning to a bar that had been our old stomping ground.
Not much happened at the bar other than J and I getting more drunk and then going back to His pad to crash and watch horror movies.
At His pad we watched Hellraiser part whatever... One of the newer ones, lol and then, as J passed out on the cough, I watched the original Alien, which I enjoyed immensely as it is one of my favorite movies.
The next day the movie marathon and drink-fest continues while I drank beer and watched more horror flicks with my buddy and His very eccentric and very nice family. I was excited because I finally got to see the movie Hostile, which I had been wanting to see for awhile and I was hanging out with people I hadn't seen since last Summer. I eventually crashed there again, this time I fell asleep on the living room floor, but finding myself on the couch later that morning, with my forty, half filled or half empty, still sitting in front of the couch next to me.
After being intoxicated and comfortably numb for three solid days, I finally returned home with only two hours to spare before the start of my work week. Now that I reflect I can see that I hit new lows this last weekend, but that is ok. |
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