The feelings are there, just need a little more limp in my wrist.
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I'm from a small,"everybody knows everybody", desert town, spent 10 years active duty in the Air Force, and I have a few strongly devout "born-again" family members. I have been gay since I was a kid. I found out the same time my 2nd cousin realized that he too was gay. My problem is that I'm too straight acting for my own good. I've been in clubs and I've had alot of guys walk up and start hittin on me and within 2 minutes, Im having to almost prove my sexuality. My straight friends that know, still ask me if I'm sure cause I don't act like I'm gay. I try to act like some of the gay men I know. Talking more fem and making little changes in my appearance and in the end, I just feel weird and out of my element. It sucks to go out cause I always get the girliest acting man in the room wanting me to be his daddy. Not knowing that I am there too, looking for my daddy. Besides wearing a well wordded t-shirt, does anyone have some pointers for me? | ||
12/21/2006 4:34 am |
You have a great question and i look forward to hearing the response from others here on OP. One thing I will say though is just be who you are and don't try to acting out. Talk like you talk, walk like you walk and dress they way you feel comfortable. Being fake will show through. In the end you will be happier being yourself. OK OP members let help birdboy out and myself with some real answers.
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12/21/2006 4:44 am |
I understand what you are saying, but I don't think you should have to "act", gay or anything else. Why not just tell people what you like, and unless you are in a new club, the word should get around.
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12/21/2006 5:10 am |
The previous responses are excellent. Don't try to "act gay." Remember Rock Hudson (you may not since you are so young)? He sure didn't act "gay." Remember "Broke Back Mountain?" Those guys sure didn't "act gay." Many of those businessmen you see in the local diner or at the grocery store may very well be gay but not the feminine type. I'm a bi-guy but most of the guys I have met over the years do not "act" gay. There are some guys who are very much feminine but the vast majority of guys are very masculine. Just be yourself...don't advertise anything. Be friendly to all you meet and I promise you that someone will "find" you and you will be glad to have been found! 
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12/21/2006 5:28 am |
I hear ya brother. No guys would EVER approach me outside a gay bar. No vibe here. Limp wrist, not happening. No flamboyant mannerisms either. As much as I feel like a square peg in a round hole in the gay bars, I still think its a good place to go meet guys. For me, that is my only shot. Like I say, outside the bar just won't happen. I just look forward to the day that I don't have to go looking anymore! Good luck! Sport ~Sport~  
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12/21/2006 6:08 am |
To act GAY! To act gay is a concept that's only in someone's head that's been forced on our sosiety. I thought the same thing to be gay you had to act a certain way. And I didn't act a certain way so I must not be gay. I beleived that way for many years and many marriages ,that I didn't act gay, so I must not really be truely gay. I believe what I thought was to be gay from what what was shown on TV. I didn't know anyone who was gay or so I thought was gave from my preconceived idea on how someone should act that was gay. I was a construction worker had grown up on a farm in northern Indiana from a Catholic family. Not until I had been married for the third time and four kids later did I realize what to be gay reaaly looked like. And I was looking at it every time I looked in the mirror and went shopping. Gay is all colors and shapes of people. Gay looks like what ever you want it to look like and act. So do your own thing act your own way, because that will be your unquie way of acting gay. Dennis
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12/21/2006 6:34 am |
If you're not being yourself, then you're not being honest. Putting on an act of any kind may get you noticed a bit more, but what happens when the other guy finds out you're not who he thought you were? All of the posters before me who told you to be yourself are right. Besides, would YOU be happy being someone other than yourself? Paul I would rather try and fail than never succeed because I failed to try
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12/21/2006 7:45 am |
Some guys have it some guys dont.Some guys you can tell they are gay by the way they walk and talk,others have limp wrist,and say girlie things.I would bet 75% of gay men in this world,have little or no girlie traits.The only girlie trait i have is, I brake for squirrels in the street.I have used my straight appearance to get dozens of guys,Cuz gay guys like guys,and im am diffently a guy.Next time one of those femenine guys come up to you in the bar,talk to him,tell him you are looking for the same thing he is,after all they are guys too..You might be surprized at how many girlie guys,actually like being the man in the bedroom..Do not put on a act for anyone,cuz that just makes you seem fake..I have found there are a lot of gay men that love real men.I personally can love a sissy,or a manly man or one in between,they both have what i am attracted too..Peace..steven
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12/21/2006 11:27 am |
I personally refuse to further the stereotype. I have however taken to providing some clues in my wardrobe (not that tough to do). I would say that you are better off finding someone who likes you for you. I personally am not attracted to the flamoyant type (at least none that I've met so far). By putting on a false front, you may end up attracting what you aren't looking for... just my two cents... Rick
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12/21/2006 11:39 am |
If guys are hitting on you, they are attracted to you, not a limp wristed caricature of a gay man.
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12/21/2006 4:56 pm |
Birdboy, Don't change anything about you. I am the way I am because I like men. I don't want to be with a man that acts like a girl. There are a lot men that don't like fems. you just have not gone to the right bars,or you just have not found the right guy. Give it time. You are you, that's what makes you different from anyone else. Don't try to be like those " Queens " Someone will like you for who you are. Hope this helps out a little. Roman
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