Reset Password
Reset Link Sent
| Blogs > > My Blog |
|
Member Deleted Post This post has been deleted by |
|||
1/16/2007 5:56 pm |
Thanks for being real and stating your true feelings for us, Kole. That is what we all have come to appreciate in you. I am shocked and stunned to hear someone would do this to you. I also realize there are as many different reasons to look at a site like this as there are people here. I only hope you will not mistrust others of us here who say we are your friends. Let us prove to you, we are. We weep with you and shout happily with you. Let this be a learning experience for us all, and perhaps we should consider letting others earn our trust more before totally accepting everything on this site. Some ARE here for fantasy only. By taking the time to get to know each other, we learn who is for real and who is just playing around. Kole, please stay who you are, the pure caring individual we all love.
| ||
1/16/2007 7:02 pm |
I'm sorry for you and all who fell for it. Why? Why did this happenned did he not have a partner.......Well I never ceased to be amazed or pissed off as to what Gus to to Guys or Gays /Gays You are a cool guy and I am well felling bad about it and thank for letting me know Seeya menlow
| ||
1/17/2007 4:45 pm |
I have a teacher friend who was told that her boyfriend was kiled in action during the vietnam war ......she waitednow in her 60's/ and last year she heard from him just almost mad her lose her mind/as she never married or anything....She meet him for a luch at a fashionable restaurant only to be made fun of....... Just know that there are many good guys here perhaps 1% Start a poll or question about it. You are one of those extra fine men menlow
| ||
1 post 1/18/2007 9:18 pm |
Hmm, sorry to hear that. I understand your concerns about internet "protocol" as it were when talking to people. I've learned to "prove" people exist and are whom they say they are by doing a few things if I'm truly weary of the individual. Have them on cam. Don't trust the photo. Anyone can put up anything. Then while on cam (to make sure they aren't "faking" that by just aiming the cam at another screen with a blown up cam image on it) have them go get an item that you ask for. Like, go get a can of beer/pop/something to drink. Something like that. To prove they are real. Boggles my mind when I watch Dateline and nothing but "chat logs/text messaging" with pedophiles and potential pedophiles and that is all they are going on for a sexual relationship with a 13-14 year old. o.O Albeit sick in its own right. Still. Why do they even think it is real. It is true about the internet and the fact there is very little recourse from actions. Though, it is shameful once people test the waters in reality. As for things like a flight to X from Y and paying for that - you are throwing your money away. The only thing I can think of that would even remotely relate to "paying for a trip" would be to pay them back if they provide a receipt after they get to X. So, act like an expense account in a corporation, have them pay first, then you pay them back. Otherwise kiss whatever money you put down goodbye. Hope you feel better, it really sucks when people tug you around, Kole.
| ||
1/19/2007 9:21 am |
Hi Kole! It has happened to me with a couple of people on here. After chatting with them several times and thinking I was getting to know them I later find out they are not who their profile portrays and their pic's are stolen from some other person. It is just sad people do this to other people. Do they not think we have feelings or emotions? I feel the same as you I forgive them but it does make you more cautious. I guess we all learn something in the end. And have peace of mind that what you see on my profile is what you would see on cam or in person. Take care Kole! Later....
| ||
1/19/2007 8:01 pm |
Hey Kole I Just Read About What Happened Damn!All I Can Say Is, He Will One Day Get What's Coming To Him,And You Did The Right Thing By Forgiving Him,By Doing That You Have Taken Back Some Of The Energy You Gave Him,You Have Taken Back So Of Heart Ache He Caused You.Kole I Think You Are One Of The Very Few People I Have Met On This Site That Are True To Not Only Their Friends But Themselves,Never Change And Always Remember You Have A True Friend In Me Thanks Again My Southern Gentleman.
| ||
|
Kole, Please don't put us in the same category. We have only spoke through words and yet for some they are the eyes to our soul. Thank you for letting me apart of your world here online. Don't let this make you retreat from the person we all love, he will get his in return. Who knows that maybe why is such an "*^&$#@" in first place. He was an emotional bully, rise above this and let him know what a real man is like. Randy
| ||
1/20/2007 4:02 pm |
Hi Kole Thanks for posting this here on line. Like we had discussed in emails when we first started emailing each other there are just to many fakes on this site. I think in my small opinion they should make it mandatory that you have your identity confirmed on this site but that will never happen. In all things in life we learn from the bad and improve not only our lives but by sharing with others improve other lives as well. Take care and keep safe. Ed
| ||
1/22/2007 3:03 am |
Dearest Kole, I guess we all were taken by him. Some of us more than others. As one of those whom spoke with him and to his supposed mother (whoever the hell that was)I feel for you babes. As you said some good has got to come out of such things. Strange that someone that could be so cruel could help me when I was hurt and scared. Please take this from me heart mate. I love you and hope the wound heals with a pretty scar. Kisses and Hugs. Lucus!
| ||
1/27/2007 12:37 pm |
hi kole,sorry to hear that you fell for a liar and a fake like that guy,i hope i am not getting scammed with some guys here,your a super great guy,your kind and have a great heart,i wish i was there to comfort you when you found out about his death being a fake,i guess some men here think we have no feelings but we do,your a beautiful person kole,glad to have met you here on op.
| ||
|
Hello Kole... I have read your blog and I agree that fake profiles are a genuine problem on OP. Indeed, identity confirmation is the best assurance of credibility - however the methodology used here is feared by many - that being a copy of your drivers license , etc. being mailed to OP. It could be feared that creates yet another portal thru which even more identity theft with serious consequences could pass. However a simple solution I suggested to OP - with as of yet no response of course - is a method used on another site I am a member of, that is very popular, and called Dudesnude. On that site, if you desire to be verified, they assign you a number. You then make a sign, or placard, and hold it up next to you - and then have your photo taken. Then - their webmaster compares that pic - known as an ID confirmation pic - to those that a member submits for posting. If they don't compare as a match - then the pics do not get posted. It seems that many members participate in that confirmation process - and hence makes the site - and it's members - a bit more credible. As pics need to be reviewed here on OP anyway prior to posting, no additional time or money is expended in the operation of this site. As each member here already has a member ID, it would be an easy practice to impliment here. In fact, it could be a condition if a member wishes to post pics. As I tried to explain to OP Corporate, if this site is more credible, then it will grow as new member joins, are retained, and in turn invest in premium membership because they feel better about this site's credability! If I hear back from OPregarding this, I will inform you and the other members. Sorry about such a lengthy comment. Best of luck to you, and to all here, too! Lil'Fun It is better to remain silent, and thought a fool - Than to speak ignorance, and remove all doubt !
| ||
1/30/2007 6:23 am |
This website, like many others, is a wonderful thing because of its anonymity, bringing many out of their closets for the first time. It's also a place where anyone can be anything they want. It's a message board, no more, not a place where you can have a relationship. Use it to contact people, then, as internet geeks like to say, get some "face-time in the meat zone". Humans are supposed to get off with each other face-to-face, not at opposite ends of a long cable.
| ||
1/30/2007 7:35 am |
Dear Kole, I am shocked to read your posting... and am relieved for you that it wasn't worse. You are recovered and have learned another valuable lesson, and I thank you for sharing it with us. Be well and may your heart be forever warm & open. ~ Ciao, Alan
| ||
|
Hay Kole Like you, I actually try to put myself in the shoes of people like that. Not an easy task for me, I might add. But my heart does go out to someone who has so little self worth. I would say that you have definintely grown from the experience, and I applaud that. There IS always a silver lining, and sometimes we just have to find it. (Sounds like you did in this case) Take care bud, Sport ~Sport~  
| ||
2/2/2007 8:32 am |
Kole, It does not surprise me that individuals will go to great lengths to stretch the truth in every way they can. Many on site or any site for that fact have a difficult time being real. Who can you trust? Many a times when we want to hook up with someone, how can you trust them as to what they have told you? Are they really HIV- and D/D Free? I have found in my experience the guys I have met in person are honest and real, and I have developed friendships from there. Fred
| ||
2/2/2007 3:23 pm |
I hear you whole heartedly Kole, and I ask that you learn from this but do not change the beautiful person you are. I know there are a lot of sickos out here, and it is a shame that we have to put up with this shit!. I too am a very trusting and caring man, and I'll be damned if I am going to change the way I am because of some jackass that doesn't have a heart wants to screw around with someone's emotions. I will not change who I am but I will have to be more cautious when dealing with people on this site. I admire your writings and love the depthness of your soul. keep on striving Kole. Your buddy, Donnie
| ||
2/2/2007 6:47 pm |
Kole, I can't imagine what you went through. I have made a great deal of friends on this web site, some I have talked to on the phone for hours. Others I have met and plan on meeting. As for the fakes, there are many which is sad. Take care Steve
| ||
2/3/2007 12:32 pm |
IT'S DEAD GIVE AWAY WHEN THEY TURN ON THEIR WEB CAM AND IT IS A CARD BOARD CUT OUT OR A BLOW UP DOLL!!!! We all screw up every now and then and have to move on I have my JJ and so we either pick up the pieces take our heads out of our asses and resume the search. I did and 3 months later Bret came into my life. The whole question is not how far you drop but how high you climb afterward.
| ||
2/3/2007 4:09 pm |
Hello Kole, I reported my suspicions of proud2's involvement in illicit activities to the secret service, after they paid a visit to my office. Unfortunately, he soon passed away! Kinda hard to kill a fake guy, huh? He's had many aliases, I told the secret service of 8 of them that i've heard of. Monterossi
| ||
|
Hey Kole, after reading your post i am not the only one to have been fooled. I was chatting with this guy for over 9 months, I admit it, i feel in love with the guy, I don't know why, but it happened, well when it came time to finally meet he didnt show. I havent heard from him since, it hurts but i learned a valuable lesson, dont get to attached or let your feelings go to fast, I'm sure he wasn't who he said he was, it didn't matter, i feel in love with the person on the inside, not a picture, it just hurt... peace brother
| ||
2/6/2007 4:14 pm |
Kole, its the internet, hello........... whats the big deal
| ||
|
Kole Thank you so much for your Protocol for Real People. I will always think of it that way. I am so happy to have been a positive influence in helping others to be honest here. To demand honesty. It's about the Sex, yes but also about our Hearts. We get INVOLVED! when we like/love/lust after other men. Often we like to fool ourselves we do not. We do though. They MEAN something to us, or we would NOT have the chemistry with them. All of us know this. The true test of Manhood in my mind is...How do you handle your attachments? Your jealousy or possessiveness? Do you lie? or are you Honest? Letting those you NEED KNOW you need them? Real MEN do this in my opinion. They don't pretend to be something they are not, hurt others and move on to new conquests. Leaving broken hearts in their wake. Yes we have all met them. The superficial Cock Teasers. The Trophy Husband Hunter. The Drama Queen. Pity them their inability to be honest and deal with real attachement without expectation or conditions. Those who fake their reality are to be pitied. Nurtured, reminded always, that if they wish to be truly loved, they need to be HONEST. No One Is Perfect. Beautiful Men and Women have problems just as much as those not considered Beautiful People. Horse hung guys have more problems than most, unless they learn at a young age to be REAL. We always put too much emphasis on the physical. Sex, and Love, begin in the Brain. You can't be intimate with someone if you don't feel an attraction. Be courageous, Someone out there finds you Beautiful. Just because you are Unique in all the world. Don't compare, Don't compete. Challenge yourselves to evolve. Make it a better world for all of us. Gunner (once TROOPER...now attached and with a new name along with a new love and life, take care Men)
| ||
|
slone is absolutely right. Whoever this guy really is, he needs to be stopped. Reported and given serious treatment. Thanks for the comments and information sloan. Thank goodness I'm not the only one with some experience in psychology on here. Gunner
| ||
2/18/2007 3:35 pm |
Early in my internet experience I chatted with a very nice man for several weeks, and formed a rather strong emotional connection. When it came time for a phone call (the "next level", so to speak) I learned I had been IMing with the guy's girlfriend, and he was never there at all. She though he might be bi and was checking out his contacts. It was a painful lesson, but I have a healthy suspicion of just about everything I read or hear on the internet, and definitely think it's a good idea to somehow confirm a correspondent's identity with reasonable certainty before getting too wrapped up emoionally. Life's lessons are usually unexpected. Take care.
| ||
|
I agreed with all of the notification, but still wonder, why OP has such a blame. Fakes you find everywhere. In your family,school, work, gym etc. or anywhere else where are people. It's not because I like that, but it is a reality. People fake about hundreds kind of reasons. The 'only' thing you can do, is beware and what could be the reason to do that. Faking on OP is mostly a privacy-matter. It's not accepted all over the world. The most want some fun, not to die. But I can't say you have been treated well, but could also happen in a bar, or somewhere else. The sickness is in the part of playing dead????? Don't ask me to understand that, otherwise I am the same
| ||
|
Well Kole and all the rest, I fall into the "biggest fool of all" I'm sorry there have to be so many people out for the buck. I invested over $2,000 to get my Russian (friend?) over here, had him a job lined up and paid for a 6 month visa, bought him clothes, offered him a place to stay with no requirements, told him he could keep whatever he earned and go home in 6 months, planning a trip to Disney Land and Canada on me, talked on the phone several times, pictues of his family, story of his dead brother etc. (actually paid for the extra for his Canadian Visa) and come back and make it a good thing for him. I loved the guy and he too broke my heart. I have since sent a hundred here and a hundred there but will never fall for the big scam again. On a rebound I tried to get a guy from Africa over and he needed $1,300 wired the day he was leaving to board the plane (had my T-shirt and other gifts all packed and would give me my money back upon landing in Seattle where I was picking him up)..well thanks to Russia I didn't fall for that one. It's a shame someone like myself can be so lonely or caring or whatever it is to fall for this. Well I guess we all learn, be glad you're still young there is lots of time left for you and a lot of honest people. I think a start to uncover these guys is to invite them into your network, the ones that won't most likely have things to hide and the verified issue is worth while as well.
| ||
|
Hey Kole, Just thought of another idea. Why couldn't someone start a blog with just a list of the people that have scammed, the listed people could always explain their side I guess. Anyone know if this is legal on here?
| ||
2/24/2007 2:30 pm |
Cole, i hve found a few here that were fake too. Look at my blog [post 35476] one of them came between me and a boy here. buster
| ||
2/24/2007 11:26 pm |
Hi Kole, Likely it's been mentioned by others but older guys are not the only ones that lie and run scams. I got so pissed off I let my membership expire a while back, and now several months later, maybe fading memory - lol - deceided to rejoin. I like younger guys for a number of different reasons. Mostly I tire of guys my age that have lost interest in the rest of life and the world around us. There are exceptions and I write them when I find them. It's easier with young guys as most are still exploring life and the world ...Anyway... 3 times I've met guys that said they were 25 to 30 and turned out to be 16, 17 and 18. Youngest 2 had poorly done fake IDs. The other appeared to be truely 18 - but he said he was 35 when I asked (his pic's looked to young to be 35) - he had 15 or so e-mails to tell me the truth. Of the 3, he got the most angry. Also have had 2 dozen or more guys ask me to send money (US, Russia, UK, Rommina, Mexico) - I reply with a clear and firm - not gonna happen. 4 wrote back nasty-grams. I think boybob and I may have chatted with the same guy in Africa - he was HOT!! - or I should say... the photo's used were likely hot (as in stolen) - this guy - very poor English for a Euorpean, he even called me to beg I wire money to a "bank account" - the country wasn't safe for white people anymore and he need to get out. One part (yes there were several) of his story was - he'd run away to work in that country because parents/family disowned him for being gay... I may have saved some of that stuff... can add it to your list if I find it. In an odd twist - I still write to some guys that have fake ages on profile because they told me in their first e-mail reply they were younger (yet legal) than the age stated in profile (58 in one case) they did it because they wanted someone to read the profile not just pick them because they were 18 and 19 year olds. Some are just camping and car show buddies but what the heck thats fun too. I am sorry you, boybob and others have been hurt I can relate... and how does that phrase go - ...but for the grace of god... there walk I... (or something very close to that) Take care
| ||
1 post 3/1/2007 7:52 am |
it funny (not really) that there are people in this world that would do what you've discribed here in the blog and replies. I was just talking to someoone that i met here on OP. as for people being fake, there on every board, and it happens to guys both straight or gay, and if there are any ladies that have had this problem I wouldn't be shocked. I can say that i haven't had anything as close to what you've discribed happen to me but i've been mislead in the past and it hurts. I try to tell myself, well if you were over wieght or ugly then you'd do it too. would I, would you? I don't think so, i may skirt the law every now and again but nothing that would hurt an individual person so painfully. and to any stupid ass low life spammers who maybe reading this, "e-mailing someone and saying you can see my photos at this other website and my phone numbers & address are there too" just stop. first most spammers e-mails tell you there spammers, if you've got my real e-mail to tell me this, why don't you send the info and pix, plus there e-mails show up in my junk mail. nobody else, weather i know them or not show up in my bulk mail if there are a real person, it funny, but it's not. why do people feel it's ok to pull your heart strings, then throw it on the floor to make a buck, or 5o¢. I think it has to do with meth, or faulty brain wiring. every man is one rail of meth or a hit off the glass dick if your nose can't take it away from being gay, be carefull of any guy that only want to get with you when there on it, it's not you its the drug. sorry a little off topic, but still relivant.
| ||
3/2/2007 1:36 pm |
I think all of us who have used this site and others have found the fakes and the flakes. It is the risk you will take in using this process. Doesn't make it wrong or right it just is. We all need to gaurd our "emotional lability" and not allow ourselves to get "hung up" on someone that we really don't know. Many of the pictures I have seen here and else where are fakes. Just limit your level of trust until you can verify the facts and the person. In the mean time have fun and realize what risks you are taking. I have found that many guys on here are trying to protect their identities and their emotions. That is why they use fake endeavours to either fulfill a fantacy or check out their curiosity. You sound very sensative and cool. I am sorry you had to suffer.
| ||
3/5/2007 12:45 pm |
I completely agree with what you have said, there are a lot of people here that are fakes, using wrong photos. Its not like people cant tell which ones are real and the ones that are porn, plus they lie about their age so they can nail a younger gu; it is hard to trust people and their photos, I have had quite a number of people write to me and play their little game. SHowing there true colors. I try my hardest to get to know people, cause u never know if there the next serial killer or , and maybe abductor. The world is a difficultplace to live, and there are always people around who take advantage of other people.
| ||
3/5/2007 7:53 pm |
Kole, I haven't had much time for OP chatting lately, but when I read your OP story here, I felt the need to comment. I know we've never chatted before. Man, I feel so bad for you. This has happened more than you'll ever know. A very close OP friend of mine fell in love with what he thought was a young, cute, hot guy; only to finally meet and find out it was a female, not a guy! I know of other instances where the same person has several different profile names out here. There tends to be a lot of drama out here in these chat rooms these days. However, not to totally discourage you, my friend. I have met a lot of great friends here, some that I have met personally and are not fakes. I also met the love of my life here on OP. We've been together for two years now. So, there IS hope. Like you said, we all get on here for various different reasons, but those who would do to others what you have experienced are the ones that give internet sites like this one a bad reputation. Scary! Thanks for posting this. Hopefully, EVERYONE on OP reads it!
| ||
3/7/2007 5:18 am |
kole...got a spare thousand bucks lyin around? hehe seriously,u gotta watch ur back around here! everywhere!
| ||
3/8/2007 9:42 am |
Yes, there are some "sick" people on OP, and well as you know in the world. I have met some with baggage, emotional/mental illness and problems online, and in person. I have also dealt with the insecure, nervous, game players, and liars. I feel sometime OP is a place where they can do a lot of "talking" but are not who they are in real life at all. Then some watch cams, and soons as they JO and cum, they are not as ready to meet with you in private as all the emailing, chatting, etc. they have down with you. Been there, done that, etc. deal. I got too chummy with a chat bud one time, and another time one with promises I should have realized he wasn't going to keep. So, Kole, I do realize just how your emotions can be. I have learned to keep my emotions in tact, and if I should meet a guy, then hook up with him, I won't immediately "fall in love" with him. After a few things on this meeting deal, old experice can teach very well. I was only in "love" with one guy, and that was a total disaster from day one. When men are wishy-washy, guys, BEWARE!!!!!!!!! If they have done it to someone else, you could be........NEXT!!!! Watch for those with a lot of excess baggage. However, those with depression, mental problems, baggage about another guy, the bi curious who are past 25, etc. and now want to get with aanother man. They are 99% likely to be all talk. whoa!!!!!!!!!!!! on those for me. I expect a Man to act like a MAN. Kole, you have some great tips on meeting a guy for the first time, and you have a great blog. I intend to read more in the near future.
| ||
3/9/2007 4:31 pm |
Thank you for posting. Unfortunately there are those individuals that are so afraid of them selves that they cannot put the truth out there...because they have not faced it yet. It has to be a desperate attempt at the wrong kind of attention. Maybe they haven't been taught better or maybe they are dealing with things so hard on them that this is the only way they know to communicate. Yeah there are some fucked up people out there. By writing your passage you showed me that your heart still works. You still have compassion. You have every right to be pissed off because you were emotionally . But don't let that jade you. You may walk with a limp but you are not crippled. GUARD YOUR HEART! Its the only thing we own out right. Thanks for reading.
| ||
3/14/2007 3:48 pm |
Cole, I have seen another one that is using other picutres - superbigjock is one
| ||
3/18/2007 1:57 pm |
YES, SOME MEMBERS DO NOT FOLLOW THUR.
| ||
3/27/2007 3:49 am |
Why can we as gay men be true to each other. I really donot know why some men are in the habit of playing games especially with the emotions of another person. Thanks to you Kole for posting the information as a caution to each of us. Sorry that it had to happen to you.
| ||
1 post 3/31/2007 11:20 am |
Great comments, useful information for all of us. Thanks
| ||
|
To Kole and all that were mislead, scammed or taken advantage of, your pain, loss and suffering are felt by all of us. When I say, "all of us", that is all that are real and genuine in their search for friends, lovers or companions. Statistics show that the largest percentage of victims are those with the biggest heart. But it is those with the biggest heart that we, the real and genuine, search for. I have been mislead and scammed before, the money can be regained, but the emotional side of it is very hard to get back. I will be more cautious in my search but I will NOT let those that have done wrong take away my greatest asset, my heart! And to all that are real and genuine, may peace be with you.
| ||
4/10/2007 9:17 pm |
It is baffling to realize that mature guys are not behaving as responsible adults. Shame on anyone who has a fake profile and a picture that lies about his age and physical features. Well, it is unfortunate that we are using a medium that allows such dishonest guys to have their way
| ||
|
To all of the guys who have written in response. First of all, I have just written to Kole for the first time, because I was attracted to the man's soul (which is so very obvious), but what I want to say is this... We have all, at some time or another, been taken advantage of by another; however, I am a firm beleiver in Karma and in the fact that as transient travelers in this world, nothing that we do comes free. Everything, whether good or bad, comes with a price. My point to all of this? Stay the person that you are - be true to your own nature and let "the powers that be" deal with those individuals who think themselves immune to justice and fair play. Don't allow their negative energy to invaide your lives; move on; take it as a life-lesson and (to use a phrase from the christian bible) "be as harmless as doves and as wise as serpents". Negativity causes a multitude of problems for we humans, so don't let it effect you. I actually feel sorry for the depraived person who perpitrated this appearent scheme - he will ultimately be the reaper of all the harm that he has done.
| ||
|
it takes a sick mind to play stunts like this on other people who are looking for friendship, one night stands or a serious relationship.no one is the perfect person. we can strive to have the site better regulated if thats possible,so this kind of jokes cant be pulled again on someone who is truely looking for the person or people who they want in their lives.
| ||
4/29/2007 8:08 pm |
Hello my friend Kole I really wish I'd read this because it would've helped me I have a similar blog posting. I hope you read it. But it seems like I draw people who are not real. I think mainly they just want money from me. I am financially secure and I made the mistake of sending people money and gifts. Only to find out that they were fake and I was being scammed. Actually out personals did not notify me it was Western Union ho told me a friend of mine who is under investigation and that they would not send my money to him. I have done everything I can to verify who I really am on this site and although I might be a little naïve I trust people to easily. And it has not happened just want but several times. I really wish I would've read more of the things that you have written. I have dyslexia and reading is difficult for me my computer takes dictation and writes for me. It also reads to me. I am not a dummy I am a very good mechanic and when I was tested for the Americans with disabilities act to qualify they told me that I was gifted in problem solving. I admit it was nice to hear for the first time in my life. Again kole you shine through with the thoughtfulness you have for others thanks for being a real friend. You are in my thoughts and prayers with what you are going through with your family. I treasure our friendship your friend Terry
| ||
|
Thanks, Kole, fo sharing your experience. "A smart man learns from his own experiences; a marter man learns from the experiences of others".Being relatively inexperienced at this online dating thing, I appreciate your insights..."Bud"
| ||
|
yeah, I had a similar experience on another website that OP wont allow me to mention on here, But he was also from Russia, and went by the name MIHAIL. Beware of this one. I sent the money to a bank account in Russia. Shortly afterwards, the account was closed and the money gone. RJ
| ||
5/10/2007 7:45 pm |
Kole sorry that you fell for a lair and a fake person, that does not value the meaning of friendship and trust. Kole You have all ways have been a very kind person to me and for that I thank you you are truly a friend and a beautiful person! Don't let one jaded jerk get on down you are a better person then him, and I'm here for you my friend. Frank
| ||
5/30/2007 3:51 am |
wow that does suck. im sorry.
| ||
5/31/2007 7:40 am |
i know what u mean hun and there r many other ways 2 c phonies sorry u ran in2 such a jerk
| ||
6/22/2007 7:48 pm |
yea buddy but thats life on the net its sad but true
| ||
|
Your method for avoiding fakes is similar to the one I use.
| ||
7/28/2007 11:26 pm |
Kole do not be dimminshed by this cruelty that has befallen you. The wound though deep was not fatal. Wear your shield a little closer to you heart and guard it well for the evil of some men have no bounds. Let your friends be your guiding light Ask anything of them be it day or night Luke
| ||
8/2/2007 5:31 am |
Hi, thanks Kole for informing us about those idiots. I never thought that there could be this kind of morons here. But now that I know I'll be aware of them. Thanks again. I hope everything will ok for you.
| ||
8/4/2007 11:22 pm |
I have seen a few fakes on here....and they have no itention of ever meeting anyone not sure why they bother posting an ad on this site
| ||
8/14/2007 10:00 am |
Sorry to hear that. A similiar thing happened to my friend recently too. If people werent so f'd up it would be a lot easier for us to find each other and form stable relationships.
| ||
8/29/2007 8:27 am |
have you read my blog recently?
| ||
9/2/2007 8:53 pm |
Well, this is the first time im doing this Kole, thanks to you... and i must say that i totally agree with you... In this past 2 first weeks i have realize that 90% of people here lie about themselfs, about their ages, and their pictures... and that is really disapointing.... Well, i am what i say i am, and my pictures are MINE, it is me, so i expect same from others... but that is so dificult here.... Luckly i found you Kole! hope to became good friends, cuz not only this is new, but also everything, cuz i havent been with a men ...yet Kisses
| ||
9/15/2007 4:25 am |
Hi Kole, I am sorry you had to go thru this, i know how it feels because i went thru it twice. One was from a guy in russia, whom we wrote to each day for a year and the he tried to scam me for some money. After that my next scammer said he was from California and we aldo talked on the phone quite a bit and wrote to each other everyday. I found out later that he was from Africa and he was a scammer, when i confronted him he said that i it must have ben a mistake that someone had stolen hes pictures and info and that he would fix al that, then he sent me some Amercican Express checks that were false so i reported him to the site and the local authorities. I dont know what happened nest. We have to be on the look out for these scumbags. Its hard to trust anyone agian after going thru this. Thansk for alerting us and good luck. Keep up the good work
| ||
9/20/2007 12:22 am |
Kole,just read your first blog.Deceit&deception are the tools of the trade for many"faceless people"part of the plastic society in which we live. I'm also a trusting soul. I've been scammed many times by people that have taken advantage of my giving nature. Still I try to live by trusting until such time that trust is disproved. Sure some may say that I'm setting myself up;still te other approach leads to too many levels of complexity. The more life can be simplified,the more it's meaning can be understood. Lots of the time we fail to grasp the significance of our being,because we look outside for external causality. Really to my way of thinking,the answer my friend; comes from within. I'm new to OP & also this computer stuff. By way of confession my age as first listed were due to computer virginality,not an intent to deceive. As for a picture,if &when one does appear it will be in a "guarded"mode. I live in a small town with plenty of "red necks". While I am out with my friends and there are professional acquaintances that know& accept it; there is no need to flaunt it;making myself&other like spirits the focus of derision. Although the local state university is known for it's "dyke" athletic teams (Field hockey,softball}and there athletic director is a known lesbian,gay men on and off campus live a fairly solitary life. Would I wish that it would and could be different,most assuredly. But sometimes things have to accepted from without,while making such ever subtle changes from within. Been there, done that. Well,perhaps this give you some incite into my life in a small town ion central Pennsylvania...sincerely,gooforit.
| ||
9/21/2007 1:16 am |
OP like anything else is 'buyer beware'! You've provided some valuable information and have do a great service by sharing your experience. As for me, just read my blog and judge for yourself. Who else but me would post this face  Always,now and forever, Brent The heart knows reason that reason it's self knows nothing about!
| ||
|
Greetings... First let me say Cole that I am sorry for your experience. I have heard time and time again one theme, and sadly, I have to add my own echo: I know how you feel, for I have been through something similiar... luckliy (?), though, not through this site. I find it amazing that I bump into this post mere hours after receiving my confirmation from ConfirmID - now I'm waiting for OP to do their little icon thing (anyone have a clue how long it's supposed to take - I thought that it was near instantaneous). I am pleased to say that, despite my misgiving, I have always posted accurate pictures of myself. Not always the best pictures, but my pictures are, indeed, of me. I give one small consolation to my vanity with my colored contacts, and I am sometimes not so quick to point out that their contacts when messaged with "nice eyes". My ego is almost non-existant, but it is there. Hopefully, Cole (and the rest of you), you will continue to meet real people here. I would happily befriend you - not for any sexual activity, but friends for the sake of being friends... or at least spend the time required to test the possibility of friendship. I like your suggestions on avoiding the fakes; cID is a great step, as well, I think. It is a shame that in a community where openness pays there are still so many that choose to remain shrouded. Such is life, I guess. Until that time...
| ||
10/25/2007 10:06 pm |
Hey Kole... Your profile and blog in my opinion, make u one of the most unique and real people on all of OP...With your attitudes, intelligence, and beautiful physical and mental attributes, it will not be long before you allow someone who is as real as you are to become the number one in your life...Whoever that one person is, he is a lucky boy...as you will be also...Never compromise your principles, Kole...you are headed in the right direction. Later, John
| ||
10/30/2007 8:07 pm |
Kole, As I have written on OP before, some guys are into what I call "sexual theater". I just wish they could do it without hurting those of us who are true to who we are and what we are looking for. This is not the place for a masquerade, and to the not-so-savy (like me),it is easy to be victimized and be hurt by it. I have been very disappointed by the guys who in the middle of a very promising exchange of letters, suddenly are gone...pooof...and then go on to hurt someone else.
| ||
|
sad to hear about your story..anyways just move one and live life to the fullest...You deserved to be happy..Thanks and Goodluck to you!!!
| ||
|
Hi Kole Well even tho I've been here the last 3 years, I never got to respond to your blogs.. I had some russian guys some time back, wanted me to get them here. It was email, and pics, and each one was a little more sexy than the one befor. It would have been easy to be taken on them, but I knew something wasn't just right...so I quit writting them.. hug, and I think you do a great job here. Ray
| ||
11/25/2007 11:41 pm |
Hey there Kole, great post, but I just also want to say that even if you exchange emails, phone numbers, talk to the person, have a correspondence with them, that doesn't mean that they are real. Trust me on this one. Some people will go to great lengths to build a false life. But, eventually the house of cards does fall down and they are exposed for the fakes that they are, unfortunately, they leave a trail of hurt people behind. Found that one out the hard way. Well, at least I learned some good lessons and got some good out of this and hopefully I am a lot smarter. Take care, Jeremy
| ||
1 post 12/22/2007 11:19 am |
It is really disturbing what some people will do. I am not surprised though as so many profiles here and elsewhere are about games and bullshit it is no longer funny. In a way I guess it is good that I tend to be skeptical of everything.
| ||
1/19/2008 9:53 am |
Kole, sorry that you had such a bad experience with friends here on OP. Trust me, it happens, big-time. I was rather fortunate. I actually met my current lover here on OP. It was an accident that we met. Actually, he became fascinated with my OP handle. That's how that began. Point is: we did some of those things that you have suggested (no cams) and eventually met in person. However, I had a very good gay black friend here that was infatuated with "pictures" of a very beautiful, good-looking young blonde boy. That young "blonde boy" turned out to be a woman; an older woman! He was crushed. I felt so bad for him, so I know what you felt with your ordeal. Anyway, I hope that you have recovered and are enjoying meeting friends here. I've met lots of them, and have even met some of them in person. I'm looking forward to continuing meeting more of them in person. Good luck to you. By the way, nice pic.
| ||
|
Would be nice if OP required a face pic even if it is fake at least it is a requirement...You really get tired of looking at fake dic pics
| ||
1/30/2008 2:04 am |
Don't let posers like that make you bitter, the difference between you and he is that you can look at yourself in the mirror each day and be proud of having class, dignity and respect for yourself. Huggs Twisstedandwet1
| ||
|
that sucks dude...i hope the best for you
| ||
2/8/2008 4:16 pm |
iT SEEMS THERE ARE SOME SICK PEOPLE ON THIS AND OTHER SITES THAT ENJOY FOOLING PEOPLE AND PLAYING GAMES. THEY WONDER WHY THEY CANT FIND LOVE....HOW CAN THEY WHEN THEY CANT FIND THEMSELVES FIRST MARTIN
| ||
2/14/2008 10:01 pm |
I've read your blog. I must say I run into Proud2 as well and smelled a rat from the first day I met him. I'm also aware of your dealings with timepasser. I smelled his rat as well. I have a number of ways in which i test people to see if they are for real here, and they seem to work. I've been taken in once by someone, and vowed never to let it happen again. Fortunately it hasn't, and I'm glad to see there are others here who feel the same as I do about "fakes" on op. I would also like to contribute as much as possible to keeping those "fakes" out of here. Would appreciate suggestions on how to bust them. Take care all of you, and thank you for keeping me company.
| ||
|
Hey Everyone, I just received word that several "fake" OP Member's have in fact been removed from the System for abuse, however, there appears to be a few that have escaped detection for the moment! Suffice it to say, I still believe that if enough of us band together and demand that OP Management do something about this disturbing matter we may finally be able to get some kind of relief, as well as protections in place so this kind of nonsense ceases once and for all! Take care,
| ||
2/25/2008 5:04 pm |
great post. always better safe than sorry, hard to remember this when I'm horny...
| ||
|
amazing advice. thanks.
| ||
3/26/2008 8:29 pm |
Sad but true
| ||
|
I know it sucks, but why doesn't everyone who is real get the Verisign? It doesn't cost anything and is very easy. Print the form, copy it with your Driver's license or ID and send it to the address. It only takes a few days. If all the real people would take the time to simple it up with the tools we already have....Wouldn't that take 99% of the pressure off? If someone goes to the extent to get Verisign with a fake ID, they have problems that aren't limted to internet sites...you can find these dick heads anywhere.....
| ||
|
I have posted real pics my whole time being a member and always had a face pic as the main one but one time I changed it to a dick shot only to be contacted my very strange people so I changed back...the funny part is I get alot of emails asking me if my pic is real which of course it is...I dont spend a huge time on the computer but it really does amaze me that if men really do want to meet then why I dick shot...if I cant see a real face pic that is less than one year old its not gonna happen and that has always been my rule...I am sure there are alot of fakes on here but the real people usually have no problem sending or sharing pics if they are genuine
| ||
|
true. just the one word.
| ||
4/9/2008 8:48 am |
My suspicion, as a standard member, is that fake responses and requests to be friends and winks and the like, are intended to provoke me to pay to become a gold or silver member. I can understand this but on the other hand, why let standard members sign up if there is no possibility of participating in any meaningful way? I am currently writing with a member who contacted me and I cannot open my email. It appears that either after a few 'free' days or a certain number of email, I have been cut-off. Also, several emails have been sent to me and when I replied, no response. It's almost as if there is a deliberate attempt by the site to make it seem to be easier to get involved with others than it actually is. At this point, I wouldn't give this site the time of day, let alone my $$$.
| ||
4/15/2008 4:49 pm |
I have to say thanks for the info! I am new to this site and reading that info was sshocking! What a jerk using your emtions for his own pleasure! Its never fun when people pull that. If you want to talk time to time with me go ahead okay.
| ||
4/16/2008 10:40 am |
I cannot begin to tell you how many people I have emailed on OP with no response at all. I make it a habit to make certain that I answer every email personally. It appears as though one would be lucky to hook up with one in a hundred. There are so many people on this site that have absolutely no intention of getting together with anyone but find it just a way to express their fantacies. I just wish people would be honest. I tend to be to trusting of others.
| ||
|
I started chatting with an older guy one time and found he lived not to far from me in my old neighborhood. So one day I went to BK to meet him and while we sat and chatted he finally broke eye contact with me and started watching the 18yo wiping the tables. Yeah I looked and want to toss this kid on the arm of my sofa and fuck his tight ass till cum dripped from his lips BUT the conversation was supposed to be about us getting together. By the time I had returned home I signed back on to see if he wrote and he did. In the comments section of my profile he wrote that I was phony and a no show. Then I started getting all kinds of BS hate mail...All the guy had to do was say, "You're not my type".
| ||
|
way too many people say they want the real deal but they ask alot of sex related questions about your desires etc. You can usually tell but not always right away that you are being used for cyber sex and they have no intention of hooking up. I want the real deal and tell them so.
| ||
|
I haven't had really terrible experiences like some of the guys posting on here. I've had the people you've communicated with, and that just drop away or disappear when you start talking about meeting. I'll be honest, I have no problems hooking up on here. I'm young and attractive, but I always care about the other persons feelings. I don't have a web-cam, but I always like talking with guys on the phone after exchanging e-mail. It develops a person's view on personalities. On the other hand, there have been some younger guys I've talked to who have backed out of meeting because they are scared, and inexperienced. I can understand, but come on guys, don't just break communication, be honest with how you feel. When you make the effort to get to know someone, and then they just stop talking its hurtful. I've had stalkers after a met a few guys, and I let them go nice and easy. I don't like anyone to get hurt. And I'll always talk to someone.
| ||
5/31/2008 9:34 pm |
That s te one thing that I don't about personal site, How do you know if the person your talking to is really who they say they are? I am new to this side of life, but I want to meet some men so I can see the otherside of life. I just want to have a honest friendship, and maybe more! I just hope the are still nice men to meet out there in this world.
| ||
|
good post, word
| ||
|
Well, it's nice to read about all of the drama, but of course the finest writers in American literature, have been Southern. Hope you're doing well, and of course stay as handsome as ever!
| ||
6/28/2008 12:11 pm |
yes are people out to scam for money from you, I got in a scam did not send money but did give out phone # and may have to change my phone # or block his from Nigeria, what a mess
| ||
6/28/2008 8:16 pm |
My world of heart goes out to you kole? To think that you were lead to believe such an A...H...! for a good and genuine ride. NOT EVEN!!! There are FAKE BITCHES out there wanting to empower their own ego's in fantasy land they they are soo botched up with sexual inuendos and manipulation they dont feel or give a damn about you they are  and have nothing better to do then try to wreck other peoples lives and emotions. I say this, bcos I have met those types in my travels and theyre easy to read like a book. Often enough these sick psycho-paths come from Abusive upbringings and the only way to repay the abuser is to abuse others..becomes a natural way of life for them. You are sooo forgiving and thats the key to healing. Your heart speaks volumes and its gr8 to know u exposed the obvious before the multitudes on this site and I guess theres thousands now who r thinking twice if they r reading this and wot u posted. U are genuine faithful honest and true. Those are the friends that mean heapz to me. Not fake identities, they can.....in 
| ||
1 post 6/29/2008 6:22 pm |
Your Rite Your Blog Is Quite Long. But It's Good Advice Your Putting In Your Post.
| ||
|
Fake people are the worst Ive meant a couple of them on here set up times or places to meet they never show then email you the next day and want to chat like they did nothing wrong.To bad there isnt a way to block them before you waste time and effort. Have a great day
| ||
|
Sheesh. All I can say to what I've read is "Damn, that truly sucks." It would be rotten to have somebody mislead me like that, and best of luck to anybody who hopes to prevent it from happening to themselves.
| ||
|
hey kole,its a good advice for me!your experience was horrible.i'm a new member of outpersonals and i d'ont know what is real or fake.some pics look like a "allamericanguys",in the future,i will be more attentive. thanks a lot! good luck! bye phil193 AP  CALIPSE ( ME )N  W
| ||
|
Hey Kole here's another name to add to your list tommytucker29. With this guy if you play "spin th bottle" you will get the number 40, which is the number you have to add to the age in his profile to get to his real age. My advice stay as far away from him as you can get.
| ||
8/3/2008 3:04 pm |
there are fake people all through life its does not take that much of a brain to figure them out. Its not that big of a deal. It is normal hard up old farts that end up sending money to someone hoping they will get some 20 year old and if they dumb enough to send the money. Then they need to learn the hard way and just use a little commen sence
| ||
8/3/2008 3:08 pm |
pics are not fake so if you are here to look at pics of hot guys what dif does it make.
| ||
8/11/2008 8:16 am |
I have not found anyone that I could not trust or any that I can, for sure, trust! One never knows. I have been on this site for 2 months and have never had a hookup. Maybe being honest about your looks and your picture is wrong on here? I have been on Manhunt.net for 4 months and without a hookup. The only possible one was for public and I do not go that route. One question someone posted was whether age seemed to stop hookups and was there a cutoff age? One only has to look at the profiles to see! Many say under 40 only or be between 35 and 50, etc. These are not few but in many posts. topseeker
| ||
8/19/2008 6:31 pm |
A lot of good information and advice on this blog. Take precautions, use common sense, but don't become so cynical that you miss the gem(s) you've been looking for.
| ||
|
amen,god save the queen
| ||
|
Wow! I'm glad I took the time to read your blog. My ID was stolen and I was told by friends (personal one on one intimate friends) I said some pretty nasty things about TV/TG/TS on here. My friends said I was actually quoting from the Bible! That is not me!! I had to get off OP for some time just to get over that. And I'm still not over it. I don't care what you look like, how big or small your endowment, how much you weigh, or how many kids you sired. I just know I'm gay and prefer sex with a man. Men who know me, KNOW me! I was seeking a LTR but am no longer interested and don't hold out hope for ever finding one. Certainly not here on OP! Even crawling around the gay-bar scene you take chances on the guys you "hook up" with, and yet I still take that chance. In the last 5 years I have become a total tramp and I know it. Seems to be what's expected. While life may not be short it IS finite. I'm 59 as of this year, somewhat active, and STD free according to my annual medical exams.
| ||
|
dont let it get to you there are real people and tere are fakes dont fall for it just be your self the truth will allways come to ligth dont trust anyone that doesnt earn it
| ||
|
its the people thats and they dont have the heart to be real men its all one big game to some who are not brave and cant face up to the fact that they like men
| ||
|
to think ppl go that low on a dating site as to FAKE their death ... wow thats really pathetic ....
| ||
9/28/2008 1:11 pm |
I know a guy that got his e-mail address stolen from him, the guy that was useing it was on this site, he had hit me up with am e-mail, was really wild, I could tell he was a fake but he had birth records and passport with the same name as the guys e-mail address he had stolen, The the guy got his e-mail address back some how and sent me an e-mail, lot more to the story but you do not want to give out any info to a stranger on here, so many out here to get you for money in scams, they make it sound all real. Just takes you back to the saying if it sounds to good to be true it prolly is
| ||
10/12/2008 1:12 pm |
one time on another dating site a few years ago, I suddenly got e-mails from a guy who declared his love for me in the second e-mail. Of course I found it odd, and he was european so he said and the pictures he had did look too good to be true. I was skeptical yet the e-mails kept going back and forth until I realized I was being set up. He lived in North carolina supposedly....and he was visiting his sick mother in Dubai and would I wire him some money to help get him back home? when I said no this upset him and he begged and pleaded with me to wire him money. I wasn't going to be a victim of a scam, and the guy wasn't leaving me alone. being new to the internet my only real choice was to delete my account from the dating site and start over again a bit wiser
| ||
10/12/2008 5:19 pm |
You ain't kidden there are fake people haven't found anyone REAL yet are these sites worth it i've just about given up.
| ||
10/13/2008 12:33 pm |
Here are a few pointers to help pick out and identify the fakes.Alot of them say the words ummmm or mmmmm or they will abbreviate long words into short like the word ok theyll say k and vice versa.Also if you notice alot of them say they cant answer pages almost all of us can answer pages.Also you ask them a question theyll answer what do you mean or the answer theyll use is something far out that doesnt have anything to do with the question or if they keep repeating themselves also is a clue theyll say the same sentence over and over again or theyll misspell words alot and also if you log onto their webcams they work till right in the middle of broadcasting and your stuck finding someone else. They just disappear into nowheres land those are the fakes.Also if you email them or invite them as a friend and they don't answer is another thing its just rediculous then you go to page them cause they as you too and they shut their cam off another indication they are fake believe me i dealt with enough of the fakes i know! Be careful they are very convincing.Theyll also say the same line like definately what im looking for and vice versa hope ive been some help later guys.
| ||
10/15/2008 6:03 am |
Ouch! Thanks for the advice.
| ||
|
You're cool!,lol ...and I look forward to see more posts from u!!! Take care, Brandon
| ||
|
Good advice to be aware of. Sorry for your hurt.
| ||
10/28/2008 7:21 am |
A few years back I made my first meet & greet with a guy about the same age as myself. He was Standard but included a photo. He chose a diner that was about an hour away from where I live; I got direction from Yahoo or Google. I forget whether I was there five minutes early or five minutes late. At the time, I didn't have a cell phone, so I called the number he'd given me from a phone booth - several times. I hung around for more than two hours; no one showed. I emailed him when I got back on-line. About a week later, his profile was deleted. This has made me cuatious towards Standard persons.
| ||
1 post 11/14/2008 7:59 pm |
I could not agree more! I too have found fakes on this site, however I have also found great guys that make wonderful friends! My take on the subject has always been that the truth is always the best way to go because if they like what you put on the site then they like you! this is an old photo by the way, but it is me!
| ||
|
kole..it is always a pleasure to know of the beauty that is inside a man..thank you....gary
| ||
11/21/2008 8:52 pm |
Kole, your a cool dude, and I am sorry for your mis-fortune...however,some constructive criticism if i may...Shame on you for being so naive - especially on the internet....this stuff happens all the time...are you all ignorant to the fact that there are people who do this crap for fun out there? ..and how much easier can it be over the web??? Lets think out of the box for a moment....Most likely - people will be meeting others within a limited distance from where they live...So, instead of going through all of the BS like sending pics and chatting and possibly wasting your time on one of these so-called "fakes"...why dont you just MEET FACE TO FACE??? In a public place (wow - what a concept that is?)?? That way, you get to meet a REAL person, and however it goes from there, well, you will obviously know the physical person you will be dealing with, right? Screw the pictures they send you....MEET THEM IN PERSON. SO, stop wasting weeks communicating over the web with someone who may be a "fake" when, if within your distance, you can just meet up over coffee after a few emails if ya think things are going well. Phdds
| ||
|
Hey there Kole, I can appreciate the pain you experienced. Not all 50 yr. old's are immature monsters, actually the disturbed individuals come in all ages,races, etc. . I thank you/ applaud you for your excellent character and positive efforts on behalf of the rest of us. If I can ever get my computer to cooperate, you will see my photo on my site. I am celebratory of attaining 50's without loss of my integrity. Take good care and G-d Bless.
| ||
2/5/2009 1:51 pm |
its so true . i found lots of fakes on this site as well or those who aint serious with me just for fun but aside all that i have made some really nice friend though i havent found the one that turn my heart around and still hoping i would .
| ||
|
Hmmm... I feel really naive after reading this. I've learned not to be surprised by the actions of others but what he did to you and to others is wrong on the human level. Thank you for your insight. Steve 
| ||
1 post 3/17/2009 1:48 am |
Hey Kole ,wow what words can do . At least you made peace with you dad before it was to late .I kinda of went through you did but with my mom .i got to make peace with her 2 weeks before she died..you know that when they leave this earth the guilt can eat you alive ...Bless you for being a strong man
| ||
1 post 11/11/2009 10:00 am |
hello all,,, i can get chat u all,,cuz i dont pay the billing,,sorry all we never meet some person here,,,, i cant go add u,,chat,,
|
×
×