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 | Blogs > SlimJimbo7 > The Naked Truth > Remembering George Carlin |
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Last Read: |
'Older' sounds a little better than 'old,' doesn't it? Sounds like it might even last a little longer. ... I'm getting old. And it's OK. Because thanks to our fear of death in this country I won't have to die - I'll 'pass away.' Or I'll 'expire,' like a magazine subscription. If it happens in the hospital they'll call it a 'terminal episode.' The insurance company will refer to it as 'negative patient care outcome.' And if it's the result of malpractice they'll say it was a 'therapeutic misadventure."' - On getting old: "... the best thing about getting old is you're not responsible for remembering things anymore. Even important things. 'But it was your daughter's funeral' 'I forgot!' You can even make believe you have Alzheimer's disease. It's a lot of fun. You can look around the dining room table and say, 'Who are you people and where is my horse?' And you look at your eldest son and you say, 'Agnes, I haven't seen ya since First Communion!"' - On abortion: "How come when it's us it's 'an abortion,' but when it's a chicken it's an omelette?" - On religion: -"Something is wrong here: War, disease, death, destruction, hunger, filth, poverty, torture, crime, corruption and the Ice Capades. Something is definitely wrong. This is not good work. If this is the best God can do, I am not impressed. Results like these do not belong on the resume of a supreme being. This is the kinda (expletive) you'd expect from an office temp with a bad attitude." -"You know who I pray to? Joe Pesci. ... Two reasons: first of all, I think he's a good actor, OK? To me that counts. Second, he looks like a guy who can get things done. Joe Pesci doesn't (expletive) around." - On "stuff": "That's all your house is - it's a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff. Now sometimes - sometimes you gotta move. You gotta get a bigger house. Why? Too much stuff. You've gotta move all your stuff, and maybe put some of your stuff in storage. Imagine that - there's a whole industry based on keeping on eye on your stuff." - On "things you never see": "You never see a Rolls-Royce with a bumper sticker that says 'Shit happens.' You never see a really big, tall, fat Chinese guy with red hair." - On his disdain for "soft names": "I'm getting really sick of guys named Todd. ... Where are all these goofy (expletive) boys' names coming from? Taylor, Tyler, Jordan, Flynn - these are not real names. You wanna hear a real name? Eddie." - "Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?" - "I wonder why Kleenex doesn't have a target in the middle of it. Don't you think we need a bulls-eye right in the middle of the Kleenex?"  RIP George |
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 6/25/2008 4:11 pm |
I was laughing until he said Tyler wasn't a guy's name. Trust me, he's ALL guy. George was a funny man. XOXO Jack Take the road less travelled.
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6/25/2008 4:13 pm |
Insurance companies also like to think that anyone over 65 has contracted some senile disease...... that way it is easier to try and trick them and to lie to them........ I may not be the smartest turnip in the world but am not the dumbest either.... thanks for the laughs Larry
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6/25/2008 10:13 pm |
Thanks for the laughs Carlin was one of the best, he'll be missed
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6/25/2008 10:22 pm |
Everyone needs to watch Saturday night Live (SN next saturday. They are running the first show ever fom 1975 at the regular time slot. George Carlin hosted it--stoned of course. Janis Ian and Billy Preston were the musical guests. All the original cast members were there at their start. It will be like a time machine event for those of us who remember that time. hugsMy Blog Art Link to Current Bloggers Birthday List Chat FOR Bloggers
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6/26/2008 4:19 am |
George, thank you, for everything. Jim, thank you for this post. Hugs. Chuck. Te+Ee>R=C
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6/26/2008 4:06 pm |
I cried when I heard George Carlin had died, not as much for his passing; but for those who never will get to hear him make us turn the mirror onto ourselves and see how really ridiculous we humans can be. Jim, thank you for this post and for making us smile and remember a true comedian and poet. Dan If you judge people you have no time to love them.
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6/26/2008 5:28 pm |
Getting older beats the alternative. Brent
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6/28/2008 9:20 pm |
Thanks for reminding me I'm watching it now as I did in 1975. Looking back at it now I wonder how that show ever got a second week. Been watching it ever since. Glen
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