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 | Blogs > SlimJimbo7 > The Naked Truth > Making Love or Just Fuckin? |
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I'm just sitting here thinking about everything that has happened in the last two months of my life. Three months ago, I joined OP. The first month I was on here, I didn't meet anyone. Then it happened and I made my first sex connection with a man. It was the first m/m sex that I've had in 16 years, and it was wonderful to explore this young mans body. Since then, I have met six other men for sex to total seven in the last two months. In most cases, the sex was great and very fulfilling for me, and for my partners too, as far as I can tell. But, there is still something missing. Were all these experiences making love or just fuckin? You see it all the time in alot of the guys profiles on here. They say that they just want to suck and fuck. Sex with no strings attached......and no passion either. Is "making love" an antiquated term nowdays? I never hear it used by anyone on here. It seems to be just "lets have sex" or simply put, "lets fuck!" Is it because sex between men has nothing to do with love? Is sex just a mutual act of gratification, or does it involve any kind of emotion that might be misconstrued as love between two men. I'm not sure I understand the emotions of men and how the sex act affects them personally. I am a passionate man....Have been all my life. I'm a touchy-feely kind of person. When I meet someone new, I must shake their hand and look them in the eyes when I talk. When I enter a room with people in it, I casually touch a shoulder, shake a hand, lightly touch an arm or a back as I talk or go from person to person saying Hi. A gentle touch is a form of connecting with someone in a non-sexual way. It's the way I am and always want to be because it's a form of communication that goes beyond the spoken word. A touch can show people that you care about them and what they have to say. I don't do this conciously, but automatically. It's part of my personna as a human being. In the bedroom, I'm a very passionate man. Sex to me is a very passionate and affectionate act that is all part of making love. No strings attached or not, I'm still show lots of affection towards my partners. I love to explore the male body with my mouth, my tongue, and my hands. While sucking a cock, one hand is stroking and feeling his chest or back. The other hand is tickling his balls or rubbing and fingering his hole. Giving my partner the maximum pleasure I can give him through my affections, gives me more pleasure than my climax does at the culmination of the act. Knowing he is satisfied gives me the most pleasure possible. In most cases, my partners are surprised by my passionate style and intensity when we have sex. All the guys I've met are in a hurry to get to the climax part of the sex act. I try to slow them down with lots of foreplay because the best part of sex is the pleasure to be enjoyed while getting to that point of culmination, or climax. If I can give you lots of pleasure, why end it in a short time with a fast climax? That's the way I am and what I like, but, in most encounters, it has not happened that way..... Lust seems to rule our brains, and the quick gratification of cumming is the way of life for many guys out there. But it doesn't have to be that way. Slow down and expand the experience of pleasure. I think most of the guys in the gay lifestyle don't know how to express their passion and affection towards another man. They seem too afraid to show affection because it might be misinterperated as love by their partner. Taking stock in all my encounters, I'll tell you what I have found. All I stated above about the tasting, stroking, rubbing and exploring of the body, is what I do during sex. I have never had any of this done to me by another man. I have never experienced affection from another man. No chest rubs or nipple play. No tickling my balls or touching my ass in any way, and no kissing of any kind, whether it be on the chest or lips or anywhere else. These are things that only I do during the sex act. Why is this? Guys seem to really enjoy my affection towards them, but I never have had it returned to me. Not even a kiss! Several of the guys I've met, I tried to kiss on the lips only to have them turn away. I mean , what is with guys and not showing any outward signs of affection to their sex partners. They don't hesitate to slide their mouth on my cock and suck like crazy men. What's so bad about a kiss on the mouth? Kissing is a very sensual act too. It turns me on to kiss someone. To me, kissing is not showing love, but a sensual act to be enjoyed as part of the pleasure of sex. Penetrating a mans ass with my cock is intamacy in its most extreme form. What the hell is so personal about kissing or other showings of affection when compared to that. I guess I just don't like all the mechanical sex I've been experiencing. I need more affection and passion shown towards me like I do to everyone else. Is that selfish of me to ask for more than I've been getting? Are there more guys out there like me, who like to express some affection during sex? I don't know. I would sure like to meet a guy that enjoys the whole sexual experience like I do. Is there anyone out there like that? Thanks for reading about me. I'm a very real and passionate man. All your comments are welcomed and enjoyed. Thanks. Have a great and sexual day! JIM |
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8/24/2005 2:42 am |
I just love kissing,before,during,and after... and i'm a great KISSER!!
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8/24/2005 4:00 am |
Gosh - you are everything a man could wish for and more. Yes I am like you in a way as I too like to explore the body first and give the skin an orgasm with my fingertips before getting down to more serious stuff. Maybe we should get in contact. I'm in the UK.
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8/24/2005 5:53 am |
U are so right on!!!!! I love to kiss and feel touch etc.. Before during and after sex....I'm in calif...
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 8/24/2005 6:23 am |
I don't understand it either. The kissing and exploring each other's bodies is such a turn on for me. It just heightens the orgasms when they happen. I've never been able to figure out those who don't enjoy foreplay and LOTS of kissing. Paul I would rather try and fail than never succeed because I failed to try
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8/24/2005 7:19 am |
I agree 100% with u. There is no affection, passion, romantic, sensual feeling,the exporing of each other whole body, using all ur senses, love making out there. Most is all I want is a quickie. So glad to hear there are some people who know how to make love to another man. Like to run into you jbo7bi. When we both have a few hours! zak
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8/24/2005 7:48 am |
JIM: without laboring over the details of the actions - "having sex" or "making love?" Dunno if my experience is commonplace or unique. I fell in love first. We had lots of great sex for lots of years, then one day realized that the whole thing had changed. Sex had become "making love." It was most intense and most pleasurable when we were most happy over something or one of us was totally out of it for some reason. It became a way to say "I'm here" or "I'm damn glad you're here." I don't think an online hookup or meeting a guy in one of the local bars here in San Jose and going off to bed for a few hours could result in "making love" that night. I think that's something that really takes time to evolve. --Mike
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8/24/2005 8:27 am |
Nicely written post, I would think that any gay man would be lucky to have you for just a night or a lifetime. Good Luck Jim
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8/24/2005 11:41 am |
I haven't done either one yet--fucking or making love that is. But I've always sort of hoped they go together, you know? Good luck I hope you find what you're looking for.
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8/24/2005 5:26 pm |
As usual I haven't got much to add after Mike has posted, besides "ditto ditto". Well, just this (to quote myself)-- Sex is great. Love is great. But sex and love together is proof of the existance of God. (That and Brahm's 3rd Symphony)
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8/24/2005 5:27 pm |
Jim....I totally get what you're saying. In fact, I think I've asked something similar in the Advice Lines. Anyway, I don't think this is a "gay" issue, it's more of a "male" issue. To my way of thinking, you are right that there is a difference between "making love" and "having sex or fucking." The latter is not much more than "a bodily function," while the former involves emotions. In my m4m sexual experiences, the other guy seems to show up just to "get his rocks off" with not much interest otherwise. I, too, enjoy the male body and "all it's parts" but have found that after the other guy "gets off," it's with a sigh (while reaching for his clothes) he asks, "Do you wanna cum too?" You can also ask scores of wives and girlfriends, they'll have their own stories of "shoot and roll over." So, I think it's a man thing. A man who is really interested in his partner (not just perfunctory interest) is a rare man.
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8/25/2005 12:41 pm |
Not at all disagreeing with Tom or Mike, but I don't believe that the absence of love precludes the presence of intimacy. I also don't believe that fucking is a more intimate act than kissing. Kissing is an active exchange. There is a give and take. I've known people so bad, they could kiss a prince back into a frog, but I have never heard of a "dead kiss". In fucking, on the other hand, saying "Shut up and take it' is supposed to be a turn on. I think that the absence of intimacy may be necessary in order for some men to feel the freedom to indulge in their desires. They require the absence of concern for the response or reaction of their partner because they believe their desires to be bad or wrong. In order to have sexual intimacy with such a person, you would need to establish a basis of trust and acceptance. Of course the presence of kissing is no more indicative of actual intimacy, than the presence of intimacy is indicative of love, or of bricks a building. But it helps to have them if you want to get to the next level.
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9/14/2005 7:15 pm |
Now there's someone I can relate with...a kiss is just that a kiss its not going to kill you but once given sparks my fly and that uneasyness before fadens. A kiss can really fuel the fire of passion when having sex with a partner or with someone for the 1st time. It's another experience so why leave that door close take a chance and surprise the person if he doesn't want to kiss email me. Chow from Ontario
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2/27/2007 10:03 am |
kissing is such a turn on-the warmth, the wetness, the breathing, the closeness- kissing and caressing and feeling someone getting hard- the expectation- so much fun
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5/15/2007 8:57 pm |
Being passionate is very important. Exploring, touching, kissing, fondling are important parts of achieving a high for orgasm. Agree totaly with the view presented by bo7bi.
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7/24/2007 9:52 pm |
Get to know the person and then go from there, sex in not everything! I believe that one should get to know the person, so many are fake and just want sex! Be safe and get to know each other first and then go from there! Billy
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10/21/2007 4:25 pm |
You can speak for me anytime please come east and settle in AMEN Jim
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1/11/2008 3:40 pm |
maybe this should be added to personality profile.
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3/21/2008 12:18 pm |
most of life was looking for a man who was compassionate making love to me, any way he wanted, some disappointments, but many satisfied me when met few other times, men need to learn how to make love, and satisfy their partner, I always tried, by doing all he wanted done and when and how. Had lots of good ones, and few bad ones who just wanted to come. Still looking for a lover who enjoys it and no head problems. free to love.
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4/25/2008 6:14 pm |
A good post Jim. I hadn't read it before. I'll kiss you, any time you want. (maybe even in public)I think most men have a hard time showing affection. Hetro guys only show passion,the affection is an afterthought of maybe I should say it's something that is learned. Either from their family or from a lover/love. As a child, my family didn't show a lot of affection toward either. My father was a handshaker rather than a hug/kisser. My mother mostly followed his lead. She was a hugger but I don't rember that many kisses. Mom died when I was 26. My father is in a assisted living facility. He seems startled every time I hug him and say I love him. My e  wife) didn't get much/enough affection from me,that's ONE of the reasons she left. The other reason(s) I'll tell you in person if we ever meet. Any way love your blogs, was looking for your daily joke when I found this. Lou
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4/26/2008 4:35 am |
Affection is something I reserve for the Ladies. Somehow with a guy giving affection just feels weird to me. I'm really not into kissing guys at all. That is something I prefer to do and very much enjoy with women. With a guy, my intent is to get him off, getting a mouthful of thick cum. And that's my main goal. Love getting my partner (either sex) off orally and no doubt I'm quite talented at it. My partners (either sex) are always pleasantly surprised how good I really am. Back to the subject. I guess I view guys as more a sexual experience. And women are more an emotional experience. Don't know if that is common or uncommon. It's just how I roll.
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6/8/2008 11:26 pm |
I love having a man on top of me as we make love to each other, I want and need to feel his lips upon mine, I love his probing of his tongue as we mash our lips together, breathing into each others lungs as our passion rises, as I lock my legs around his waist, and pull him down upon me, I love that feeling of his hard cock going in even deeper and surging with his power, and this happens as our lips are locked together, sharing in our explosive kiss, I want to feel his musles in his back and his ass tighten up with each power stroke, and this all happens when we are shared in our Kiss.........
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8/3/2008 8:00 am |
Interesting as hell. As I said on my blog, my first question post; we are in an alternate lifestyle and many are not truthful until we meet and find out this! Some want to kiss, some do not! Some do not care one way or another! So know what you want before you want to commit, SEXUALLY, to anyone! If you want a one nighter because the person is hot.. that is what it is. Kissing or any other stuff along with hugging or whatever, is it sex and do you climax with that one thing being done and nothing else? We are sexual beings and it is few and far between where anyone can commit to another, be faithful, and cannot have sex with them for some reason! Now that is love! Topseeker
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