25 posts 8/4/2015 10:03 pm
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A KICK ASS BULLY STORY GONE TERRIBLY WRONG! Once upon a time, two 20 year old hard core city muggers were on a uptown bus seeking their next victim when a goofy looking very short thin with thick coke bottle type glasses got on from in front of the library.
Complete with a Walt Disney Elmer Fudd metal lunch pail and wearing a pink bow tie to boot, the bullies snickered to themselves knowing full well they had just found themselves the perfect easy target.
The three of them were the only remaining passengers when that bus reached the old burned down mill yard building on the outskirts of the city.
Snickering, they followed this Dufus nerd under the old entry arch and straight into the heart of the factories old charred remains. With no one in sight, the time had come to set the planned Mugging into full swing.
Larry the coke addict who was the older one suddenly cut right in front of the lunch pail carrying nerd while his partner in crime Ned made sure his only other escape route was fully blocked off from behind.
It was the expensive looking gold pocket watch nerd boy had looked at many times while still on the bus that they were after. Anything else like cash or other jewelry would just be an added bonus. In suddenly brandishing a black pearl handled switch blade knife, Junkie Larry demanded his helpless victim hand it over to him immediately! This is when the nerd knelt down to one knee much like a girl playing hotscotch., while carefully placing his Gay type Elmur Fudd lunch box on the still charred concrete ground.
Standing back up, both thugs awaited him fetching his gold watch in full compliance. Instead the nerd produced two separate 3" by 5" white cards with dark black writing on them which read as follows:
ALLOW ME TO INTRODUCE MYSELF TO YOU. I AM A CRUSADER AGAINST VIOLENT CRIMINALS. IN TEN SECONDS I AM GOING TO PUT MY FOURTH DEGREE BLACK BELT TALENTS TO FULL WORK TEACHING YOU THE FULL LESSON OF YOUR EVIL WAYS!
Although Larry's lunge with his switch blade was carefully aimed at this nerdy looking freaks mid section, it never quite arrived. The judo type movement was only a blur to him.
His prized stick upknife flew through the air as the sounds of the loud crackling snap and pop of his right elbow echoed throughout that old mill courtyard,
This happening as Ned tried to tackle this no longer Nerd from behind. The spin move was executed to perfection as the Crusaders left knee met the center of poor Ned's jawbone squarely. Ned's jaw snapped upward instantly taking the first full inch of his tongue clean off like a surgeons scalpel.
The so called fight was over in less than five seconds, From his just opened lunch box, the Crime Crusader produced a large half rounded gauze bandage along with a single pair of three inch surgical clamp type pliers.
" Put the gauze pad over your tongue and clamp it down firmly to keep yourself from bleeding to death!" he instructed poor stunned and in deep pain Ned! Know your going to talk with a heavy LISP THE REST OF YOUR DAYS ON EARTH AS AN EXAMPLE TO OTHERS OF YOUR TYPE!"
Then turning again, he delivered a powerful uplifting front kick that caught poor Larry squarely in the balls talking his feet right off the ground! Unknown at that time, was the fact that Larry's balls would cause him deep pain at times for the rest of his natural life also.
Then with a call from his cell phone to the Cities EYEWITNESS NEWS TEAM, he made sure the full story complete with their Lifetime Handicapped Injuries would be covered on the television nightly news!.
So in case you just happen to be a very SADISTICALLY INCLINED BULLY, remember this valuable lesson in life..
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